Ummm, excuse me? When did that happen. My 3 year old has 'TUDE as in ATTITUDE. So much is happening so quickly that I just don't know where the time goes. I really do understand now, how I was completely forgotten in my single-dom by all my friends when they were starting to have their children.
You know how you were the Perfect Parent UNTIL you had kids. It is just a WHOLE other wave length that we are on when kids appear. OK so they just don't APPEAR, the whole 9 or is it 10 months thingy and all. I mean its 40 weeks, 4 weeks in a month, isn't that 10 months then? But I have learned, having two children both ways, one Tunnel (V) and one Sunroof (C) that it's not necessarily how they COME into this world, as the midwives and doulas would like to brainwash you in feeling, but its how you raise them.
I am completely in the throngs of Kid-dome. I mean my son is in a preschool daycare 3times a week, skating on Saturdays with Dad for a 1/2 hour, Swimming on Monday and Wednesday nights for a 1/2 hour, Creative moves on Monday morning and various playdates and parkdates varying Monday and Tuesday afternoons! His poor sister Easty, she just gets to tag along now, later Easty, it will be your turn later.
Ooo I almost forgot, both Jackson and his sis get to go to a childminding whilest Mommy & Daddy take the COPEing with Toddler Behaviour parenting class on Monday nights. Yes, we did have a little overlap for 2 Mondays there but neither was more important than the other. Unless you talked to the hubby who, BTW became an outspoken opinionated class nerd in parenting classs.
Seriously my quiet man had a TON to say. Although he was a parenting class keener while there, he was a "What did we really learn?" Because they say in the beginning that we are not hear to work on individual problems, but here to give you the tools to (ahem) Cope with Toddler Behaviour better.
Well the first time we (I)tried this course we made the mistake of taking it in Guildford, well where there was nothing but single moms, there was two actual other couples but they both used english as a second language! It consisted of me, who had to be there alone because the man's hockey team was in the final gold medal round of Adult Safe Hockey and winning, COUNSELLING all these single moms who just turned the attention all on themselves and the problems they were having with their child.
The problems with their boyfriend, who swears in front of her 2 year old son, or the boyfriends mom who likes to smoke in the presence of her 2 year old, and how her boyfriend yells and has a tendency to throw things and break things when he is mad, yah real relating there, NOT at ALL! Girl LEAVE HIM you FOOL! His mother obviously smoked something/cigarettes in front of her own son causing him to lose ALL his brain cells but really LEAVE YOU DUMB ASS LEAVE! Sorry, thought I was watching reality TV there for a moment.
***I SERIOUSLY give any single parents praise, as I do it intermittently and really it's HARD. I personally love that I can share the pain. Why suffer alone?***
Then another one was starting to empathize with her and I knew this was NOT for me!
Problem is that the program/course is fabulous but you can't control who is in your class, making is completely USELESS if you are not with other people that you could classify as your peers,ummm I am not a SNOB but really I was not into trying to help people without at least getting paid. All class I was wondering if I should just leave at break, darn I have my kids in childminding, oh no I have my kids in childminding with these moms kids, oh no I can't be that obvious, oh CRAP! I stayed.
Luckily I called my girlfriend on the way home who works with children and recommended this program and she helped reconfirm my observation, best to wait until a class is closer to home and well where my man and me would meet other parents, still together, that were, oh how do I put this nicely, reasonably SANE.
Well we are coming up to the last class. Graduation so to speak but the hubby will have to skip as one can't be in two places at once. Maybe we will get a certificate.
***I also skipped last class too, why suffer alone, not as fun then***
Regardless, the class did NOT help me get my child to sleep in his bed consistently, or not be scared of monsters, or stop being grumpy in the morning cause he really didn't sleep well, or help me deal with the ULTIMATE meltdowns that leave my child wanting something, getting it and not wanting it, then throwing it, hitting me, pushing his sister, or trying to pick her up by her head, all while crying uncontrollably and while I sit there thinking in my head "what do I do now?", the best example of COPEing with toddler behaviour happened when my mom grabbed him and held him and told him to calm down and he did, all while staying as cool as a cucumber and just being quietly in control.
What I did learn is that my husband has a lot to contribute to parenting class & loves to talk about the kids, my man also likes to people watch and give others funny behavioural nicknames, that if a conflict occurs we both would opt to skip it, that I love red pepper dip and nacho chips, that I cheat and do homework in class cause I know that I won't do it at home, that I am still a keener and a nerd and that I love to have the best answer in discussions, that I am proud to do it ...it was just slightly painful (like running) when you are doing it!!!!
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Ali is that you?
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