MonkeeMama

This MonkeeMama Has Moved.

2010-05-23T09:11:00.000-07:00

Can't find me? Well not to worry I just headed on over to my own site.

www.monkeemama.com

Where you can still find all our Monkey antics & more.

The Fifth Sense

2010-05-20T11:53:00.000-07:00

I missed my lil' monkeys when I was away. I got a little sad when no one jumped into the bed with me & kicked me in the mommy parts trying to make room for themselves in our dinky bed.

Then I came back from my glance at single-dom life to the usual mother-life and have another interesting morning that I could never have predicted with kids.

As I was standing in my underwear brushing my teeth, my son proceeded to slap my belly and blurt out
"BUDDHA!".
I grimaced the best I could & grunted, hey I was brushing with a mouthful of frothy toothpaste, and then I spat.

Me: Please Jacksy. Don't smack my belly even if it is Buddha-ish.

So he stopped. Smiled. And proceeded to LICK my leg.

Me: JACKSY! Stop! Licking is only for ice cream & Popsicles!

He laughed and then both Jacksy & Easty started licking me while wildly laughing like two crazed hyenas.

It only took three days before they made me feel just AWESOME about myself/body & even more AWESOME that my parenting is obviously working?!?!
If this continues I may have to stock up on these sugar traps.

My children are weirdo's, I guess they take after me.

Things I Learned in LA

2010-05-18T11:46:00.000-07:00

I really do know the meaning of the phrase "traffic is a parking lot on the 101".
Yes I have to admit, I was a bit punchy after our hour long car ride. Five lanes of traffic, with cars stopping for absolutely no reason, drove me insane. The edginess finally wore off after my first purchase.

Why would anyone pay RETAIL in this city?!

See this LOVELY daffodil yellow bag. It's the newest member of the family and my first foray into Coach. Really I don't care for name brands but I do like bags that are well made. Ones that can withstand Easty's known penchant for hiding her half-eaten Costco hot dogs in it & then the subsequent finding of them by a certain Jack Russell, who shall remain nameless. Oh yes, UNDER a $100.!!!

You may have heard of the Dry Martini well I had a Dry Latte in LA.

Basically it is a latte with not as much milk. You still get the foam-a-plenty if you like that, I don't, but it was awesome. So easy to go Low Cal in Southern Cal. Heh. Geographically I don't know if that is true (LA is Southern California) as I am challenged with my lack of locations in relevance to the world. I just liked it because it rhymed.

The celebs & people may live BIG in LA but the spots they go to are teeny-tiny.

It just looks like a bunch of vines doesn't it. But walk inside and you enter the darkest, loudest, most BRILLIANT but expensive food restaurant. I do know food, as my ass can attest to that, and it was savory at Firefly. Just don't be disturbed if any men walk in behind you as you go to the washroom, it's unisex and I saw more hookups in there than anywhere outside of it. Just so you know the washroom lock at the end of the bathroom is broken, it isn't vacant it is definitely OCCUPIED.

Just call me WEEZIE!

No not because I look like Mr. Jefferson's wife or anything but I am SO far from my years as a smoker in my '20s that I was definitely coughing up a lung after my trip to LA. In Firefly, you can smoke after 11pm in the restaurant area & I found most people smoked. I could even smell Clove cigarettes, WOW, that will remove a few years from your life. I seriously woke up like I had smoked a pack of Camel Toes, I mean Camels. I am such a smoking prude now or at least my lungs are.

I still LOVE LA though mostly because my girl JoAnne lives there.

Ventura-land for me.

2010-05-15T08:25:00.000-07:00

Studio City may have Disneyland & Universal but I found my grown-up adult entertainment down Ventura Boulevard.

After a slightly nauseated ride up the hill towards my BFF's place, where my driver Alex had to stop by the side of the rode as I had a panic attack that brought out all my hangover symptoms. I rummaged through my luggage desperate to locate my phone. Lifeline retrieved.

I soon learned that tiger balm when waved under your nose can relieve nausea JUST LIKE that.

I could just drive through LA gawking at all the houses. From the cute hacienda bungalows in Beverly Hills to the Mansions on Mulholland Drive all probably in the range of Never-In-My-Budget.

After a quick stop at my friend's apartment to drop off luggage we hit up Rosco's on Ventura for a quick bite. We each ordered a glass of wine. Four glasses of wine arrived. Guess what Happy Hour starts at 3:00pm and lasts until 7:00, that's more like a Happy Afternoon than a Happy Hour.

Next stop was the local shoe store Lush, where this effervescent salesgirl named Ann was frantically babbling away in Russian to her girlfriend then blurting out in English to us about the HAWT black cop with greeny hazel eyes.

I laughed. Ann was astounded. I laughed more. Ann loved it. Hey this is LA surely there were people with crazy laughs similar to mine kicking around?!? Apparently not. So I say SHUTTY to all those individuals who swear I sound like Fran Drescher's Nanny character.

I found the BEST gladiator sandal flats. *sigh* I am still so in love with them.

Then we strolled to get some wine and I mean strolled about five stores down.

At Flask they were having a wine tasting so we decided to partake.

I know NOTHING about wine absolutely NOTHING. It's red, it's white and if you mix them both you get pink?! I DO know that white wine will take out red wine. I am basically NOT a connoisseur but I was in for some wine. OH another fact, your supposed to spit it out after you taste, like that's gonna happen. As we sat at the wine bar, both Chris & Chris set us up with a plate of crackers and some different cheese's.

CHEEEEEEESE. Love it.

We were sampling some La Fenetre wines and the vineyard owner was just mulling about talking to all of us about it. You know, cause that happens every day at my local wine store. After my girl purchased her box full of wine we headed back to sample it.

I Love LA.

So Sad.

2010-05-10T15:23:00.000-07:00

Hotel! Motel! I am definitely STAYING HERE.

Although, I don't know if I should be concerned about a few things.

The fact that I cannot stand more than a 15 minute solitary soak in a tub full of yummy Asprey purple bath salts or that I cannot stand more than 5 minutes of adult TV time while alone in the bath.

I have realized that I am a closet TV channel flipper, I just have never admitted or had the chance to notice it before.

Oh YES, there is a TV in the mirror of my bathroom vanity. SERIOUS.

I need to pop an Advil. Air travel ALWAYS gives me a headache.

It's Funny...

2010-05-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

It's funny how a little statement like:

"FINE! I'll eat it then!" Can pack on a quick 10 pounds to your mid-section.

It drives me crazy when the lil' monkeys request something to eat, then refuse to eat it due to some silly reason. Yesterday the crackers were cold or the other day they told me they didn't like it/don't want it.

Then WHY did you ask for it?!?!

It will be a quick drive to the cuckoo's nest for me if they continue with this "stage".

One thing about having an adult getaway is that I don't have to eat anybody's food, unless it's my Man & myself sharing the HUMONGOUS size Montreal portions that they serve.

Our first stop in Montreal, Reuben's on Ste. Catherine's.

After this meal, I knew sharing would be in my future.

Crazy thing is that the portions may be monstrous in Montreal but the people are not?!?

Could they ALL be visiting.

Two More Sleeps...

2010-04-28T17:15:00.000-07:00

...until we have to board a plane to Montreal and all this week I haven't really slept.

It's not about worrying about what to pack, it's not any fear of flying, it's not about who's taking care of them, it's not about leaving the kids -as yesterday I would have boarded the plane right there in the Mall's parking lot, after the runaway episode.

It is really about flying WITH my Man. Whenever I have gone away or the Man has travelled, it's usually as a solo parent. We always know that ONE of us is going to be there with the kids, say, if the plane goes down, or if you get knifed in the ghetto of Las Vegas.

I just keep worrying, even though I know everything should be fine, I just do.

And then I remember, ever since I got pregnant, I worried. I worried about what I should eat while pregnant. I worried about the health of my baby-to-be. I worried that I may get into a car accident while pregnant and lose the baby. I worried that the car following us when we brought him home was too close to us. I worried all those wonderful, worrying good thoughts.

Then I have to put it in perspective, and realize that I will always worry. No matter if they are four or fourty.

I WILL worry.

I just have to reside myself to realize that worrying is part of being a parent. Not only is going away great for us, it is fun for the kids to hang with Grandma & Aunty. I mean REALLY, it is going to be Date Night for almost a week and that I am FINALLY going to eat REAL poutine, not the Burger King version.

It also helps to know that you have a will and life insurance.

The Runaways

2010-04-27T17:46:00.000-07:00

Nope this is not a movie review of The Runaways movie with Kristen Stewart & Dakota Fanning. Although, I really felt like singing out that song,

I hate my-self for lov-ing yo-u.

This is about my own little Joan Jett & Cherie Currie. Except in this version, they are both Blond and Blue-eyed and they are under 4 feet, and the only similarity is that they both can run really, really fast, away from me.

I thought I would be happy to be done with strollers, now I just want to use one so I can legally restrain my hyper-happy-take-offers.

After a not-so-eventful day of vi sting my friend, a first-time mom-to-be, at 35 weeks pregnant at her home, where my son refused to go inside until Grandma bribed him with a future toy, or my daughter who kept smashing the baby gates into the walls, after I FINALLY pried her off of me, to only have her stick her tongue out to go Goo Goo Gaga for the whole time.

Oh how easily my girlfriend laughed, as I told her, well you know that saying "my children will never behave like that". Heh.

After an hour of this torture of trying to have an adult conversation. We left and proceeded to the toy store. Well you know, my Mom PROMISED Jacksy a little toy & at this age, he's NEVER going to forget something like that.

Starved, we hit the little 50's diner in Zellers, empty, good kid's menu, fast service.

All was proceeding swimmingly, until, Easty decided to go poop n' pee in the washroom. After a successful trip, I guess she felt, well lighter, as the little runaway in her started.

She ran down the aisles, away from me, screaming like the giddy, lighter Easty she WAS now. After I caught her, and swung her over my shoulders like a sack of potatoes, she started screaming bloody murder, in a piercing pitch. To the delight of an older woman, who's screwed up turnaround look, could never be described.

I commented plainly, "Well, she's 2". I love how I use her younger age in these situations, true that she is two but so, so, close to three.

I thought this was the end of the escapade, instead she bolted like a horse at Hastings racetrack and laughed like an mischievous Gremlin, throughout Zellers, and into the mall. Where her brother decided that he wasn't getting enough of this attention, and proceeded to follow.

I almost raised both arms in the air and praised the Lord, as they paused momentarily at the Loonie Ride machines, which I usually LOVE to hate. But it didn't last long enough, as they bolted again for ToyrUs, only to pause again at the new 2 piece kid whatchmacallit toy stop.

I snapped a couple funny pictures thinking this escapade was over, only to have them runaway down the mall towards the lenscrafters BUT instead of running through lenscrafters, they went to the optometrist side, ran past the receptionist into the last office, and then closed the door. All while screamingly, laughing, in that mischievous way.

As the working Optometrist came out of the other office, with a bewildered look on his face, I grabbed the little ring leader and flung her over my shoulder. Jacksy followed.

I was M-A-D. MAD.

I plunked the little runaways into their car seats, and happily buckled their little butts up.

My first-time mom girlfriend has NO IDEA. Muaaah-ha-ha.

Monday Morning Musings

2010-04-26T07:33:00.000-07:00

Today my 4 year old told me a few things.

As I am trying to go to the bathroom in privacy he followed me in and told me that:
You (Mom) don't have a penis.

Me: Thanks for the update Jacksy.

He also told me that:
When you grow up. You will be a boy.

Then he paused. Grabbed both of my cheeks in his little mitts and looked me in the eye and then said:
A FABULOUS boy. Then we can be twin boys together!"

Sounds good. Then I would never have to have PMS or a period ever again.

Girl's Day & Boy's Day

2010-04-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

Every so often, I get all into my Japanese heritage. It all came about when I commented on my friend's blog, Ali, that Japanese were Oriental not Asian. I believe it is because of the Pearl of the Orient seas, so anything that touches the Pearl of the Orient seas is Oriental. That would also make individuals from the Phillipines and Korea oriental too. So should I just stick to Asian? But on census forms I usually check Oriental? As they have both. But then individuals from India are classified as East Asian but not Oriental?

Heritage confusion aside, and back to point of this post.

We were stranded with no babysitter this Friday. All our resources were dried up, and we were left with two tickets to Game 5 of a 2-2 tied series between the Canucks vs. Kings. So we decided Friday morning, before we found out we DID have 2 options for a babysitter, that the Man would take Jackson to the game.

VERY OLD SPOILER ALERT: Canucks spanked the Kings and lead the series 3-2.

Knowing that Easty would be upset, I decided that I would tell her we were doing a special GIRL'S night, that only us GIRL'S could do, and oh yeah Daddy is taking Jacksy to the hockey game.

It worked BRILLIANTLY, she basically pushed them out the door, anxious to see what we were doing for girl's day.

There is a tradition in Japanese culture where you honour your children.

There is usually a Girl's day, it is called Hina Matsuri or it is more commonly know as the Hina doll festival. These very elaborate Emperor and Empress dolls that are usually passed down from generation to generation of girl's, are displayed in an alcove of your family home. On this day families with young daughters celebrate this event at home to ensure their daughter's future happiness. The dolls are so unbelieveably beautiful, I have always wanted one, and my Mom has always wanted to find me one. Peach blossoms, symbolizing a happy marriage, are indispensable decorations of this festival day. The blossoms signify the feminine traits - of gentility, composure and tranquility.

Then there is a Boys's day or now what they call a Children's festival, it is called Tango-no-Sekku, this is when another type of doll, more of a warrior figure is displayed. It represents Kintaro, a Herculean boy who grew up to be a general named Shoki, whowas believed to protect people from devils and Momotaro the Japanese ; Shoki, an ancient Chinese general believed to protect people from devils; and Momotaro, the Japanese "David the Giant Killer".

Also, a carp is flown for each son in the family, a very large one for the eldest, the others ranging down in size.

The carp has become the symbol of the Boys' Festival because the Japanese consider it the most spirited of fish, so full of energy and power that it can fight its way up swift-running streams and cascades. That's Jackson. Because of its strength and determination to overcome all obstacles, it stands for courage and the ability to attain high goals. The carp is an appropriate symbol to encourage manliness and the overcoming of life's difficulties leading to consequent success.

I figured we are doing our own little version of this festival. We have always tried to have special time with Jackson, being he was older and more aware that he had to share his parents, so one-on-one time was very important for him. Now that Easty is older, it is also important that she feels special as well.
.

We ended up eating dinner at Milestone's, where her curly fries became snakes. She is my girl as adores watercress dip with fries, and couldn't get enough ice in her water. Easty loved the cloth napkins, and hates sticky hands and her face. It is really quite shocking how NEAT she is, considering we always call her our little "pigpen" from Charlie Brown. Not to her face or anything, but she has a habit of looking all disheveled, could be her flyaway curly, wispy hair doesn't help
We ended up at Chapters, reading storybooks in the castle, and bringing home a five-pack of the Fancy Nancy readers. Easty has adored them, ever since she got them for Christmas from Grandma.

All the while, I kept getting texts from the Man.

Jacksy couldn't believe there were TWO zamboni's to clean the ice.
Jacksy spotted the Green guys and thinks that they are funny.
Jacksy swung his towel so hard it hit me in the eye.
Jacksy lost his hat about 3 rows down. No worries. Got it back.
Jacksy can't stop Woooing.

Personally, I just don't know if those green spandex suits leave all that much to the imagination. Why would anyone want to watch the game threw non-breathable fabric?! All while standing on their heads for entertainment?!
And I am SO sorry BUT I can't stop looking in the *AHEM* unit area.

All in all a good girl's and boy's day. I think this will be a continuing tradition in the MonkeyJesson abode.

I think for our next girl's day, we should get our nails done.

To be honest: They are both so different one-on-one and it is REALLY a pleasure to take them out. Now, now, no don't read into it. It is a pleasure always, but you know what I mean, they are great together, but I guess separately, they know the focus is on them.

Is It True What They Say?

2010-04-20T19:12:00.001-07:00

Is it true what they say?

They say when you or your family member is stricken by illness, EVERYBODY is very willing to help and very understanding, when it first happens.

But when you really need them, when the newness goes, does everyone else go to?

I thought no way! Not our tight group of mom friend's, we are going to have staying power! Maybe I was wrong.

Almost 3 years ago, my friend's daughter Ella was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma about the same time my Dad was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. I always believed that Ella and my Dad had an understanding that no one else could.

Ella underwent her chemotherapy & drugs & all that comes with it and is a happy, healthy, awesome kid. Ella is just waiting to get her line removed, but once that is done, it will hopefully be last of it, but maybe not. When you are diagnosed at 2 1/2, and undergo intensive chemo, they do not know the effects that it may have on her future health and development. She may need hospital care in the future.

Children's hospital was were she received her care and every year we run for Team Ella V. The first year, we actually WON an award for the most money raised.

This year, well this year, everybody seems to be slipping through the cracks and is non-committal to Team Ella V.

Why?

I always felt it was the ONE bonding thing us Clover/Langley/Surrey Moms did together because we all didn't know what to do, but we knew we could do this. I know that some of us have had second children, some of us are not as close anymore, but just because Ella is OK now, does that mean we should ruin a GREAT TRADITION that was started for such a GREAT REASON?!?

I say NO.

Are we all really THAT busy?

If you want to join or donate follow this link. I hope to see you guys there.
Join Team Ella V.

Donate to my page. Naomi Jesson. Chris's page. Jackson's page.or even Easton's page.

You Know Your House is Messy when....

2010-04-19T17:10:00.000-07:00

...when you see it through the eyes of the Surrey Police, who have to stroll through your home because somehow you/I accidentally dialed 911.

THE CAUSE:

The Rocket Hub. A mini-cellular tower that can take 10 wireless & 4 Ethernet & your phone landline for a meer $50 bucks a month AND you don't have to change your phone number. Add an extra $20 buckaroos if you want to have unlimited long distance. You can even take it with you and I plan to bring it with us to the cabin at Christina Lake. Sounds GREAT doesn't it. Did to me.

Until, the wireless reception that was 100 times faster than our Telus, was not connecting at all. I realized that when I shut the blinds, the reception was poor. I had initially set it up upstairs, but when I realized you had to hook your land line up to it, I took it downstairs. Then at night it wouldn't work. The Man was complaining how it wasn't connecting, and was saying to just cancel it, we had a 15 day free trial.

I called the next day but forgot I had the phone connected, and the Rogers guys didn't ask, but when I unplugged it so he could reset it, I also disconnected the phone.

DUH. Then when I plugged the phone back in, the number it was already dialing had 91123 and just picked it up. CONFUSED, I was. Then the phone rang with a blocked call number. It was the police. I answered but then it disconnected. Then they called back again and I tried to explain to them what happened but even I DID not know exactly WHAT happened, except I was thoroughly embarrassed and sorry that it happened. I thought I should have just said Easty dialed it by accident but it was a good thing I didn't because....

...not less than 30 minutes later, 2 uniformed police officers came sauntering through my house to make sure that everything was OK. They made sure that I didn't have any weapons & no one was being held hostage in the toy room. Honestly, you couldn't find ANYONE in the toy room with the disaster it is right now. Great, I feel safe, except this was the WORST possible time for anybody, even family to come to my house.

MESS. DISASTER. My house looks like the Icelandic Volcano erupted RIGHT HERE.

Boxes, plastic, laundry & other random pieces of furniture are scattered all about. No beds were made, as I was planning on putting them together tonight. Seriously, I felt like I was on the verge of becoming hoarder material today.

Then to look like an even more stellar housewife & mother, I plugged the kids into a movie, let Easty fall asleep. She was half asleep on the chair and the floor, as I was attempting to put together some more of the kids bedroom sets.

GAWD how embarrassing. At least it wasn't someone I knew.

In the end, moving the Rocket Hub to the upstairs worked brilliantly. I can even leave the blinds closed.

Bye Bye Telus.

The BET.

2010-04-19T15:59:00.000-07:00

It's Stanley Cup playoff time. This means that the TV is always on, and 1040 sportstalk radio is always blasting commentary, and the Man is transfixed to his iPhone. The Man, of course, found an App that enables him to watch ALL the games on his iPhone. Plus he needs the Canucks App, and the TSN App with stats, RIGHT NOW.

The iPhone even shows up in bed with him lately. I might give it a woman's name and then call her the OTHER WOMAN in his life.

We went to Game 2 against the Kings, and the Canucks lost in overtime. Kind of easy to do, when you have lost momentum and the Kings are on the Power Play.

I LOVE where we sit, Sec 323, Row 9, not quite the nosebleeds but damn close. Everybody is usually really into the game and there is always some sortof sideshow, hopefully not a violent fighting one, but always some GOOMBA entertaining us with their drunken foolishness. I once witnessed a guy sneeze into his hand, and then rub the UBER amounts of SNOT onto his pants. LOVELY.

This time it was REALLY chatty guys from LA. ALL they did, was contemplate Gretzky playing in LA, basketball, baseball but really NO hockey. They did not watch the game at all, it felt like they were regurgitating comments made from the ESPN updates that they had just watched. Chatty Charlie's all night. I think they MAY have clapped when LA won.

They just wouldn't SHUT UP.

I don't know what has gotten into me lately, I keep wagering on my blog a lot lately.

How long before the lil' monkeys bedroom sets are completed.
Update: So far there are still 3 boxes left, the 2 beds & the headboard for Easty's. Oh yeah, I had to help. We raced to see who could finish their bedside tables first, see works with Husband's as well as kids.

OK, checking back, maybe it was just once.

Last season my Man bought me a Pink Canucks Jersey. It still has the tags on it, even though we have been to a bazillion games since I got it. I am JUST NOT the type of girl who wears the pink jersey EVEN THOUGH it's friggin adorable on Easty. And before you get all sappy & OooooO & AWWW that the Man thought of me, he only bought it because all his other friends at the time were buying them for their wives. I would also like to add that it was one of his suppliers WHO actually bought it. NO money changed hands from my Man to the vendor.

Last year, my Dad won for the Best Individual Canuck Fan in Hospice and the whole building. It was the only time my Dad actually called me on the phone, by himself. He knew we were going to a game, and wanted me to get more Canuck paraphernalia. So I bought him a flag and Mattias Ohlund's Official Blue Canuck Jersey. I REALLY wanted them to make it all the way, as my Dad had bluntly stated that he guessed he wouldn't get to see the Canucks with the Cup. Although I WANT them to win, I would be so sad that he missed by just one year.

When Dad passed away, my Mom gave us the jersey. All of my Man's friends wear their Canuck's jersey's to the game, not my Man, he doesn't like the attention. Seriously?!? Like anyone would actually even notice.

Here is the bet. If the Canucks make it to the next round of the playoffs and we get tickets to the game, we will rip the tags off, & BOTH wear OUR JERSEYS to the game.

This is WAY better... ...THAN THIS.
There I said it. We will both uncomfortably wear our jerseys, which in my opinion is NOT as bad for him as it will be for me.
Wouldn't you be MORE embarrassed to wear the Seahawks hat & shirt after the season they had. At least the Canucks made it to the playoffs.

I mean, have you seen the Puck Bunnies that wear this version of the jersey?!?!

But then again it may NOT be just the jersey. Heh.

Awesome Fridays

2010-04-18T09:57:00.000-07:00

You know what is awesome.

Coming home to find a Weed Man sign on your lawn and a bill for $56.00 on your door.

You know what is awesome.

When you call them to tell them that you didn't request this.

You know what is awesome.

When they realize that it was for your same address but a different street & that you got a freebie.

That's an AWESOME Friday.

2 for 7 Continued...

2010-04-17T09:26:00.001-07:00

We went 3 FOR 8 the other day. But unfortunately today Jacksy was not dry.

Yes, HE was NOT DRY but his bed IS DRY?!? Figure that one out folks.

I have the MOST amazing son everyone- he is so ADVANCED. He can wet his pajamas but keep his bed perfectly dry. No matter how much you strip the bed looking for the wet spot...it is BONE DRY.

Speaking of bones, is bone china made of bone? Was at a tea shop & was asked that question by an 88 year old lady. I told her I would Google it, she looked at me funny. Sorry was distracted there by a random thought.

So where did that pee go? I am thinking that perhaps he just peed a little in the morning, when he was, you know, At-ATTENTION.

He was quite proud of himself.

J: I'm wet Mommy BUT MY BED'S NOT WET! YES!

There is nothing more awesome that your 4 year old doing the fist-pump with the best of the Jersey Shore boys, in soaking wet Batman Jammies.

I also want to send a shout out to the friends who offered up their supplies of Pull-ups. Thanks for bragging your children are potty trained. Heh. Heh. KIDDING, but thanks for asking.

I almost grabbed some for Easty. Easty is 2T-3T, and today we are buying her more underwear as she is SO close, we haven't seen a poop-in-her-pants for over 6 months now, we will see about the pee.

Hopefully she doesn't surpass her brother here, or he will never live it down in the Monkey story's~ stories to use in the future, to embarrass the begezzes out of your children with~

For example-At Jackson's University graduation:

Oh yes, Easton was potty trained by two, but Jackson wasn't. To think that he didn't stop peeing the bed until he was five, and now here he is getting his degree. *SIGH*

2 for 7.

2010-04-15T20:25:00.000-07:00

J: Mommy I'm ALWAYS wet! - with tears in his eyes, and a very sad voice.

Me: No Jacks. You're dry 2 outta 7 days.

J: Oh yes. I guess that's OK.

Yes. We are in the midst of nighttime potty training.

One morning while helping Jackson get dressed, I noticed he was wearing underwear. I guess the Man had run out of pull-ups and just put Jacksy in underwear.

Eureka! He was DRY. Here I must have been under estimating my son, suffocating my son by over-mothering him, and putting him in pull-ups when he obviously was ready to go superhero underwear at night.

Here in lies the dilemma. Out of 7 nights we have only had 2 dry ones, and well Jackson is going to be 5 years old in July, do we stay the course? I don't exactly feel enviro-friendly with the constant washing and drying of sheets.

Our newest strategy was either letting him stay up longer, to get that last pee in OR just trying to wake up the sleeping 4 year old beast from his deep slumber & try to instruct/direct him to the toilet.

One problem with the staying up longer, he falls asleep on his own WITHOUT getting that last final pee in. The second problem is he is totally tired. He still needs a good stretch of sleep.

The problem with waking up the slumbering beast, is HE IS A BEAST when you try to wake him up. He gets physical OR he just cannot be woken up. I have heard of friends sleepwalking their children to the bathroom & then helping them pee BUT then the dilemma is that they are half-asleep/still asleep and now they just learn to pee IN their sleep. GAH!

I cannot bring myself to buy pull-ups right now. So I am planning on sticking it out.

How LONG will this go on?!?!?!? Anybody have any suggestions? How long did it take your child?

Place your bets folks.

Day Three.

2010-04-15T18:43:00.000-07:00

Yep, those boxes still haven't budged. They have MULTIPLIED though. All 7 of 7 are in da house!

Any bets on how long it takes is to put it together?

Anybody? Anybody? Anybody?

Oh GAWD. What Have I Done?!

2010-04-14T09:14:00.000-07:00

Guess what arrived today!? (As I dance around all giddy like a kid at Christmas).

Three very large & heavy boxes from Cost-CO. I love saying Cost-CO it can easily sound very sing-songy.

A couple weeks ago, I took the leap, as the Man wasn't going to do it. And I purchased two bedroom sets for the kids. They have such awesome deals, you can get a bed frame minus the mattress, a chest and/or dresser, and a night table, all for the price of ONE Ikea bed, the GOOD beds, at Ikea that is.

Seriously. Is that not a deal? They are really solid too. I only know this as it was impossible to move them. Heh.

I neglected to tell the Man. No it wasn't because of the funds, it was an OBVIOUS deal. It's just, putting furniture together is not his idea of a fun way to spend 9 plus hours.

Perhaps it's his lack of use of instructions, perhaps it is the lack of instructions, perhaps it's the procrastinator in him, perhaps there is some Mr. Fix-it gene he was not born with, my Man NO-LIKEY furniture assembly.

Don't get me wrong, he can totally put things together, but it did take him a full year before he even attempted to put Jackson's Red Ryder tricyle together. I do understand that he was not fully able to ride it yet, but really was he given the chance?

I actually put the kids adirondack chairs together but unfortunately due to lack of actualy assembly talent, only one of three has survived.

So as I tweeted my freak out that only 3 boxes arrived, and frantically checked my email notification to realize that perhaps there should be at LEAST 3 more, I soon realized, DAMN that would make 6 boxes.

Turns out there is 7, the other 4 showed up today.

Here is a view of one bed, and part of the other. That is only 2 out of the 7 boxes.

Am I going to put this all together?? I have two baby showers to attend on the same day!?!?!

I imagine that this should get completed sometime in the year 2015.

The ROCK & No Not Dwayne What's His Name.

2010-04-12T17:19:00.000-07:00

Today I almost Ugly-cried. TWICE.

No I am NOT PMS-ing. It's just that my youngest child is going to be three in less than two months and I just CANNOT believe it.

It's a Mom thing. You know the getting all vaklempt over what others may feel is just simple stuff but you know it is a big step for your child and you.

What really got me today was when my daughter Easty completed her first ballet class. She's only TWO (well going on three) but I couldn't believe it, she didn't need me to sit beside her or be there for her, or for her to bury her head in my lap and play shy. I sat with all the other parents watching.

OK getting all watery just thinking about it.

The first time she "galloped" (ran around the circle with her hands on her hips), I was with my Mom and the waterworks just wouldn't stop. My Mom kind of snickered at me, and said "AWWW your crying". I didn't whimper and do the ugly cry, but I couldn't stop those tear ducts from producing. GAH!

I am so not sappy. It is my Man, who cried at our wedding. It was my Man who brokedown when they told me to push, actually I think it was when they said I was 8cm dialated. I usually am the calm, controlled one, the kind that is good in a crisis.

I am the ROCK.

But seeing her gallop for the first time, after a LONG stint of sitting in my lap and just looking out in the far off reaches of space, after she would DO it all the time with her brother's class and with her most favourite Vondy, Ella. When she could finally be registered for the class, instead of just tagging along, and then she wouldn't participate in the class for the 8 weeks, but DID EVERYTHING at home, in the hall, in her room and would talk incessantly about it.

I also remember longing for the day when my children would not be attached to me.

I think I changed my mind.

Casualties of Jackson

2010-04-07T14:21:00.000-07:00

**Excuse the poor quality of the photos. My camera was dropped, which jammed the lens. I just have my iPhone that needs to be replaced.***

Lately, we been having a lot of casualties at home. So many that we have our own little rehabilitation unit.

Honestly, I do not know what happens. They just all of a sudden lose their limbs. Below the knee, above the knee, or sometimes they just lose their heads in general. Currently we have some limbs but can't seem to find the rest of the Spiderman bodies.

Small toys. This was actually a Christmas ornament that my Mom bought. It became a toy. Now it is a broken toy. I was informed it was a collectible.

Big toys. This is a Buzz Lightyear that my friend bought for me in DisneyWorld because at the time it was IMPOSSIBLE to find one. Anywhere. This happened within a half hour he got him. He travelled some 1000 odd miles, just to have his foot broken off. Beyond. Repair.

Even Cinderella cannot escape the wrath of Jackson. Look at those fingers.

Easty wanted me to FIX IT! Um, yeah, not gonna happen.

There is no way that Ben 10 even had a fighting chance.

Poor Echo Echo. How long do you think he will last?

Easter Sunday Equals Hockey, EH?!

2010-04-06T17:18:00.000-07:00

This last Sunday I took my Mom to a hockey game. Yes girls love hockey too.

Which was thoroughly apparent as my Mom was WOOO-ing it up with the best of them at the Canucks vs. Ducks game on Sunday. For those of you who don't know, after every Canuck goal the announcer gives the goal scorer & assist details and then proceeds to go WOOOOOO! What is awesome about going to the game with my Mom, she can call the game with the best of them, she knows all the referee signs and called most of the icing's before the linesman, much to the disbelief of the beer-drinking hockey experts next to us.

I never realized it had probably been years since she had seen a game because she always went with my Dad.

Going to hockey games with Mom rocks. She loved Stepho's, our pre-game meal, and then ALSO loved looking in the kitchen and organizing stores on Davie St. as well. We were actually early, which is not something that occurs with the Man. I now know that the doors do not open until an hour before the game, and that they love to line you up like cattle in the cold wind, while the play the torturous message about smoking being only allowed in certain areas with no in-n-out privileges, EVERY minute starting 15 minutes before the gates open.

I am a rink rat. I grew up chasing pucks at all the best rinks, we thoroughly enjoyed the North Shore Winter Club because you could actually play some real games like ping pong, instead of chase the puck around the rink to stay warm game. I mean 8rinks used to be only 4rinks and the only warm area was the pub and being a kid meant hanging out in the cold rink, begging your parents for hot chocolate to keep warm. My Mom hung out in the cold with us, cheering on my Dad, every time. Hence we have rink blood, we both prefer temperatures to be cooler as we can easily overheat indoors. My Mom was right there for all the hockey escapades, she was with us as Dad played for at least 3 teams, coached minor hockey, and then cheered on my Brother when he played competitive hockey.

One thing I love about going with my Mom is that she notices the most simplest things and she doesn't mind if I make her pose with it.

It says "Aging is inevitable. Getting old doesn't have to be."

When Kesler scored the empty netter, she didn't get all anxious to get out of the arena, she knew that anything can happen, and we watched the WHOLE game, it ain't over until it's over. Good thing too, as the Ducks came back to tie it up in the last two minutes, which resulted in 4 on 4 overtime.

Good thing we scored a quick overtime winner. I really wanted the first game my Mom went to without my Dad, to be one in which we WIN.

Thanks Sami.

Is Yelling the NEW Spanking?

2010-04-03T18:30:00.001-07:00

I am loud. L-O-U-D. But when you put it together with two kids fighting over something, my voice gets even LOUDER. Unfortunately, my voice is so booming and decibel-y that it can easily turn into an almost kindof, sortof, WELL IT IS yelling.

I admit it. On the rare occassion, I have yelled at the kids to the point where even my Man has said

Your Scary

I HATE yelling. But it seems to be better than spanking, right?!?

Um NO & YES. Yes, I have yelled in anger but I have never uttered put downs or yelled things that I would regret later but I still feel just as guilty as if I would've swatted their behinds. Should I feel guilty? Especially when Easty is taking off from me in a parking lot?

I remember when both my brother and myself had set off my Dad. We joked that Mt. Vesuvius was about to erupt. We joked about it but it also helped us be conscious of doing something bad, as we did not want to disappoint our Dad.

Is yelling the new spanking?

I sometimes feel that it is very demeaning to be yelled at. I think it defeats the kids spirits and makes them feel bad, when really it is just a possible combination of bad-timing and frustration on the parents/our behalf.

Also, when I yell, I apologize after. I don't want the children to think that if you do something wrong, an apology will solve everything. Now if I yell, I yell but do not apologize as it sends mixed messages.

Our new tactic: We whisper. When we start getting mad, we start talking so low that they actually have to lean in to hear us. Usually they also respond in a whisper, so it does create a lot of smiles amongst all of us.

OK you gotta yell when your child it running into the busy alley where you can't see them or in a parking lot at the local Walmart surrounded by Goomba drivers, who are definitely NOT looking for a pint-sized 2 year old to be wandering the lot. I am still going to yell on those occassions but I am vowing to keep the frustration yelling to a near zero and continue to whisper in the future.

Chocolate Chocolate and MORE Chocolate

2010-04-03T09:36:00.000-07:00

Well the Ultimate Chocolate Weekend has arrived at the MonkeeJesson abode.

Easter Weekend.

My fondest childhood memories of Easter are when I would get dressed up in a in a new Easter dress, go to church with the family, and then have Dad's famous pancakes for breakfast. The only chocolate my brother & I used to get was one hollow chocolate egg from Purdy's with our name written in sweet, sweet, white icing. The other eggs we got were either just coloured ones that were empty/blown-out (and we were the ones who did all the blowing until we passed out) or hard-boiled dyed ones, which, if you know me, was something I did not want to find, as that would mean I would have to EAT one.

I just got the Yucky Shivers!

But then again, we didn't have cousins that were near our age. They were either so much older than us, that we called them Uncle or Aunty, or they were just babies.

Jackson & Easton have cousins very close in age to them. My niece is 6 months younger than Jackson-to the day, my nephew is 6 months younger than Easton, and my other nephew is a year younger than Easty.

5 kids under 5. So when all the Aunts, Uncles, Grandmas, and us all pooled our Easter Chocolate together, it was a plethora of Cocoa Goodness. I think if we had a chocolate addict amongst the family, they would have definitely overdosed 10 times over.

I was laughing at how LONG it took Aunty K, Uncle P, and my Man to hide the chocolate. Also, where they hid the chocolate was a riot. I don't know who it was, but one adult hid the chocolate on the piano keys UNDER the piano fall (the thingy that covers the piano keys).

Honestly, the egg hunt was the most entertaining, funniest experience, for us parents. Five kids surrounded by SO much chocolate, that they wouldn't see it when it was RIGHT IN FRONT of them. They were too frenzied looking for the next stash, that they were not looking where they were even walking.

Every so often, I heard SQUEALS of CHOCOLATE finds everywhere. I do believe the Jesson genes are strong, as it was hard to determine if the high pitched squeals were coming from my niece or from Easty. Personally, I almost peed my pants from laughing so hard. There were definitely some tears of laughter during the Jesson Chocolate Easter Egg Frenzy.

I have battled my children for years over trying to control treats. Just recently, I have stopped battling and I have just let them have at it on special days. My kids eventually just stop eating the candy/chocolate on their own. Perhaps we may have some soft poops, but it has never gotten to the point where they have vomited up chocolate. Even if they did vomit up chocolate, they hate "being sick" so much that it probably may help to curb an excessiveness of chocolate/candy consumption. Also, I am sick of arguing, JUST ONE MORE AND THAT'S IT, I hate that with a passion most of all. Hey it's usually a holiday, it's usually not their regular day anyway.

I have noticed with some of my other Mom friends that this really works for them. I am finding this is working for me because it is usually me, not the Man who has to play the bad parent/cop, and I don't have anyone begging me or flipping out because they cannot have JUST ONE MORE. Honestly, it makes life easier for us all.

Here is where I am asking you all in the blogosphere. What is your chocolate policy? Do you regulate it? If so, when do you stop? Do you let them have at it? All day or for a few hours? Just Curious.

I can't wait until I have one more niece or nephew next year! My prediction BOY.

Don't tell anyone but I snagged all the GOOD Lindt chocolate bunnies for myself.

Easter Bunny Drama's

2010-04-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

Me: You better go to bed, on your own, or the Easter Bunny isn't going to come.

As soon as it slipped outta my mouth, I wanted to delete it immediately. Oh Gawd! Did I just say that. First off, if the EB didn't come, the Aunts & Uncles & Grandma's certainly will, so really that was just a false, spineless threat.

A tactic of last resort which I am SO trying not to do, even though it comes from that unconscious, you know the one, that you dig deep into when you are tired and fed up. It comes from the experiences that you might have had as a child and vowed, sweared, back and forth, and up & down, that you were not going to do. That was when you were the PERFECT PARENT, before you actually had any real children or when they were still in utero. Nobody usually wants to parent the way their parents parented, back in the day, and as a child you knew it wasn't necessarily effective, but as a parent we are WAY more enlightened now, right?!? Heh.

It seems that not only do I do the ultimatum, it really just doesn't work. They continue to exceed the boundaries set out for them because they know the Easter Bunny will come, and so will Santa Claus.

We have decided NOT to do the ultimatum with things that cannot be changed like Santa & Easter Bunnies, etc. It is very effective with toy throwing, you throw the toy you do not get to play with it anymore.

Simple idea. Putting it to practice when you are tired, PMS'd, sleep deprived, much tougher but it can be done, it just takes that LOVELY patience thingy.

Well nobody said parenting was going to be easy.

Sometimes.

2010-03-31T16:22:00.000-07:00

I LOVE I.C.E.= Intense Cycling Endurance.

Well except when I am cranking out 95% on a imaginary hill and some crazy skinny chick is wriggly her body all crazy-like and is OBVIOUSLY NOT climbing the hill with the same intensity & tension that I am.

Sometimes, sometimes, I just wanna walk on over and CRAM that gear shift up & say...

It's only as rewarding as you make it Honey.

It almost seems like it can relate to anything.
Parenting. Marriage. Profession. Friendships. Life.

...This Deep Thought Moment was brought to you by the mind of NTJ.

INSERT LARGE LAUGH HERE

Da Bomb! Da Shit! It's AWESOME n' BRILLIANT! a.k.a. A Few Of My Favourite Things

2010-03-25T17:50:00.000-07:00

After my recent post, I mean the one earlier today. I started thinking about the things that I really love lately.

Here are a few of my Favourite Things.

My Ice Watch.

I LOVE it. It goes with everything. I used to hum & haw about my watch with the gold face and brown leather strap or the silver watch with the black leather strap. Now I don't have to worry as I always match.
~I'm a poet who just didn't know it~ thank you Andrew Dice Clay.

My iPhone.

Even though I have dumped it into the toilet twice, I still lovingly refer to it as dimmy. As I always say, next paycheck I'll get a new one, or maybe the next paycheck after that, no no the one AFTER that one.

Large Bags of Spinach.

OK here is the story to the picture. I asked my Man to bring me home a lot of spinach as we have been eating it like crazy and constantly running out of it. I did not realize that at Superstore, you can get a bag of spinach BIGGER than your head for like 5 bucks. I think we were just overly-caffeinated and thought it was the funniest when I blurted out "It's as BIG as your HEAD!" Then we giggled like school girls, and couldn't stop, then we took pictures. Oh yes, I won't even mention the relevance of the cartoon character Olive Oyl to me, oops guess I just did.

If you have noticed I did not pick my Man for his small head. If I had known I was going to have babies, I might have chosen a smaller headed Man. Just Kidding Monkey! Big Head Big Brain, and Monkey get your mind out of the gutter.

My HD Flip Camera.

First off, got it at Costco cheaper than any of the bigger electronics store. Secondly, it has so far survived my kluzty-ness of breaking everything electronic. The lastest victim is the Sony Cyber-shot camera, which is not even 2 years old. Dropped it at the Olympics, and jammed the lens, BROKEN. Supposedly you can take still shots from the flip, have yet to try that out.

My PVR/DVR or whatever you call it. The thing that records TV.

I guess you really do not love something until it is gone. Yesiree, it is also on the broken hit list. It started freaking out, and after a week of the Man tinkering with it, you know resetting and other stuff, he finally called our PVR savvy friend. Yes, it was broken. Surprisingly, electronic gadgets are not made to last or at least that is what the Shaw guy told him.

Stitches clothing store.

Yes I said it. STITCHES. The place where I got my first pair of Jeggings recently and subsequently everyone asks me where I got them. Non-friends love them and ask me where I got them from, I LIE. I am too embarrassed. Call me a snob. Call me a liar. I just do not want to tell em Stitches. This is where parents bring their teens, and all you hear is but Dad, but Mom I want it. It is definitely NOT a place where some 30something women should be shopping. I blame my single, skinny friend Kate, she has led me astray, to run rampant in Stitches. I still cannot bring myself to wear acrylic though. That is where I. Draw. The. Line.

My Stroke of Insight by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor.

Even though it contains some pretty high-flaluting tooting language and many people question the fact that remembering such specific details during her stroke is nothing more than a miracle or just plain BS. I loved it. It came from the perspective of the individual, and the fact that she is a survivor and continues to inspire, is BRILLIANT. I was recommended it by an individual who survived a stroke, and now I recommend to all the clients that I have seen in High-Intensity Rehabilitation.

Epicure Spices.

I am addicted to Epicure. I bought a few from a co-worker, and just loved them. I loved them so much that when I tweeted about being finished with them, and was invited by an acquaintance to crash her Epicure party, I went. Turned out I knew a few people there, but I shot in, ordered my spices, and out I went. Then I Jones-d for about a week waiting for them. I think I scared my acquaintance friend, as I waited outside her house in my car, with the kids for her to get home.

If you have never tried them, they are a must. Poco Picante salsa, Guacamole, Cheese Chive & Bacon. I am sorry but they are natural ingredients that make everything taste so AWESOME.

My Starbucks Ceramic White Tumbler.

What can I say that I haven't already said? This ceramic cup ROCKS!

LOVE. XOX.

What are your favourite things right now?

Current Loves & Presents & Copycat Behaviour

2010-03-25T12:12:00.000-07:00

I LOVE coffee. I need it to function, especially at work.

Lately I have been in love with my latest find. Which really isn't MY latest find, it is more like I have admired it from a far. I kept seeing this mug everywhere, two co-workers have it, the gymnastics gym mom has it, the ice rink Zamboni guy had it, my co-worker's husband has it. Then hearing everyone rant and rave about it justified the reason, why, I, should also have one.

TA-DA AA!

OBVIOUSLY I am using it - notice the coffee grunge on the side.

Only problem with this mug is that some claim it does not keep your coffee HOT HOT like stainless does, but it doesn't taste like a stainless steel mug. Another dilemma is that my Man tried to abscond with it the other day, he seriously had it full of coffee & it was in his hand, when I grabbed it like the baton in a relay race, and THANKED HIM VERY MUCH! Heh.

I told him, if any klutz in this family was going to break this mug, it was going to be me. Another problem with this mug, when you drop it on, say, cement, or hard surfaces, it breaks. I know of 3 people that have had to buy replacements, I am determined NOT to be the fourth.

Now onto the presents!

I like presents! OK I LOVE presents!

But the best thing about presents is receiving them for no reason, they mean more to me, it means someone is thinking of you, and not just because you have to for the obligatory holiday or birthday.

The other day I bought my friend a similar ceramic mug with a bamboo holder, for her birthday. She LOVED it. It broke.

I saw two at Starbucks today. I bought them both & gave one to my friend who broke hers and another to my other good friend.

I do believe that they liked them.

An even better thing about getting presents for no reason is GIVING them for no reason. It really does get me all fuzzy inside.

Have you ever bought the coffee for the person behind you?
I have and the surprise on their face that a total stranger has bought their coffee is pretty brilliant.

Again I got this idea, when on a Sunday, a person in front of us in the drive-thru at Starbucks, bought both of my Man and I's drinks.

I figure copycat behaviour is fine, if it really makes you smile.

Lil' Monkee Militias.

2010-03-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

Lately we have been hearing alot of, well whispering.

No, our house is not haunted and we do not have gremlins, although I sometimes wonder how we lose so many matches to socks and my VS black bra is still M.I.A.?!?!?

The lil' Monkees are in CAHOOTS!

You hear this "psst, phish, phish, psst, snicker, snicker, heehehe" and then they disappear leaving little soft but still scrambly, semi-stamping footsteps behind.

Leaving me to wonder- What the heck are they doing?!?!?!

The last time, they cahooted to Grandma's house. Not a far trek as Grandma lives in our basement suite but still one that requires 3 doors and someone TALL enough to reach the light. No little monkey wants to go down a dark stairwell.

I personally wonder how the conversation between them began.

Perhaps...

Good evening this is Gen. Sissy & Capt. Jacksy reporting for duty.
This is a SECRET mission.
Do not tell the Parental Units.
All information is strictly CLASSIFIED.

The purpose of our mission:
We have been DENIED milk & juice.
We NEED to get milk & juice.
If at all possible, a treat that M & D would not allow.

Our mission roles are as follows:
Capt. Jacksy: you get the light & doors.
Me- Gen. Sissy: will knock on door & use the cuteness to convince Grandma.

We MUST be very quiet or M & D might foil our plans.

LET'S GO! QUICKLY! QUICKLY!

Personally it was probably more like this...

Easty pointing to Jacksy and saying
"go Grandma's house for juice and YOU milk. Open the door Jacksy. Lights on Jacksy."

Sissy knocking on door.
"Grandma we HUNGRY! We THIRSTY!"
And then a little whimper from Easty as she looks down to the ground.

Either way Easty/Sissy is the organizer of it. Until she came along, Jackson did not get into half the mischief that he does now.

Just the other day. Easty requested her favourite song "BABY BABY BABY" by Make the Girl Dance.

She TOLD Jackson "Jacksy YOU LIKE this song RIGHT Jacksy".

Jacksy said "Oh YES Sissy".

Couldn't figure out how to play just the song - so you all get the whole video - but it is quite a video if you haven't seen it yet.

Perhaps they will learn French?!? Heh.

This may be part of the reason why we are not having anymore children, they might band together and overthrow the current ruling forces*.

*Current ruling forces equals, US, the petrified parental units.

February in Pictures

2010-03-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

What can I say?! The Olympics were on and well I was too busy to post!

Street Entertainers are WEIRD!

Line-up sleeping is key.

E & E are ADORABLE.

Silver for me.

Snowboarding Canuck.

Matching Lulu cheer gear, eh?!

Hockey Girl.

Hockey Boy.

Family.

Granville photo op's AHHHHH!

Granville Stomping Grounds.

Olympic Quilts in Fort Langley.

GO purple Batgirl GO!

VonJessons minus 1.

Sam- up close HEH.

Jully Black- really up close.

Surrey house with F & K.

Mittens & Wine 2010.

Rec Girls and an anonymous line troll.

Feist - the no banter act.

Orpheum.

Keg outdoor bar upstairs.

How do they change those lightbulbs. Orpheum again.

McD's Cleaning Crew 2010.

Snowboarding with Kate Spade.

Quatchi.

Robson Square at night.

Frosty says You Gotta Be Here.

There IS snow HERE!

Victory medal lap.

Hanging around.

Teddy Bear picnic.

Slides & Smiles.

Small chairs & big people.

Medal Ceremony.

Nap Time. If it were only that easy.

Barenaked at Laugh It Out. AWESOME.

Richards.

Robson Square.

Hudson's Bay at night. AWESOME again.

The Olympics have started....

2010-03-13T15:28:00.001-08:00

...the PARALYMPICS that is!

After the constant hum of people downtown, with our family included, and then the tell tale Olympic Hangover, what I have been anticipating more is now here....the Paralympics!

Sadly, many venues have closed down and mostly all that is left is mud & sawdust on the ground. The zip-line is still running, now only a 2 hour wait instead of the usual 5-7hours. The gap of about 2 weeks can really kill the hometown Canadiana electricity that we experienced during the able-bodied Olympics, but it's not going to kill my buzz.

One brilliant thing about the Paralympics is that I can actually afford to go to an event, with the children. Sledge hockey is just $20. a ticket, although now you can't even find a ticket for the Canadian team anymore, and the most expensive ticket was for $195. for the opening ceremony. We paid $65. and had AWESOME seats in the first row of the balcony. Thanks Kim!

The only sad part was I did not have the wee monkey ones with me, it was so interactive and kid-friendly, as my former co-worker (Kim) had called me up with tickets to go to the event, we only had two tickets. After seeing Sumi fly, I knew that the kids would've been entertained, even though Sumi is the only paralympic mascot and they surely would have asked where the others were, like the Vondys. I was seriously concerned that they would half-fast it, and make it well, cheaper looking comparative to the able-bodied Olympics. I was not disappointed at all.
One thing I know for sure is that Terry Fox ALWAYS gets me all vaklempt. I am talking seriously, big puddles of tears, welling up in these here eyes, and then them overflowing, letting the seldom tear roll down the cheeks. I remember Terry Fox and the Marathon of Hope. Somewhere my Mom has a picture of my brother and I, in our TF tshirts circa 1980, if I ever find it, I will definitely post it. The tribute to Terry and his parents bringing in the flame, together, was just so right and perfect.

YES YES I am that old, moving on.

Perhaps I am enjoying them more, even with the minimal TV coverage there is, because in my profession, and especially in Rehab, I see people just newly injured. When we play hockey, yes in chairs, and you see individual's competitive nature come out and the smiles and laughter that accompany that. That is why I love what I do. We are not focusing on their disability, but on their ABILITY. Many a time, when family & friends come across our game, they are amazed at how much each individual is physically doing, and usually it is so much more than they did able-bodied. I point out the smiles.

When I read "I like getting a hit on my first shift. It gets my head into the game. To get a hit in the first shift, it is what I need."- Ray Grassi taken from The Vancouver Sun interview. That talk can be from any athlete.

That is why the Paralympics are different, they are INSPIRING.

Boomerang Children

2010-02-17T08:20:00.000-08:00

A Boom-er-ang! A Boom-er-ang! What does it do? It comes back to you!

Why does that song ring out in my mind every night? Well lately this is what pops in my head as, all of a sudden, my lovely sleeping children, are not sleeping so lovely anymore.

Every since Easty moved into her big girl twin bed, and Jackson become king of the double, we have become the crankiest parental units on the block.

Easty wants Dad to "Cuddle me!" and Jackson needs to know "Who is going to sleep with me!". Yes, you all might think we have coddled them, but contrary to the Baby Whisperer, they also go into sleeping stages, where they do sleep well and then they do not.

This stage is the cry, cry, cry, re-enter Mom & Dad's room multiple times until Mom & Dad go bonkers, and then when the Mom & Dad are exhausted and it's 6am, they will eventually succumb to the relentless kids ways and then the kids will win. As we have promised, "When it is morning time, you can come into Mom & Dad's bed". Unfortunately for us, the nights may be long but the mornings come QUICKLY.

I have tried running the bejezzes out of them, and filling them up full of food, and definitely hot bathing them until they are groggy & fatigued from the heat. We have even put a lock on our door, so that they can't just sneak in and sleep by our feet. Although, somehow the decibel level that the CLICK from the lock makes, seems to send Easty into screaming chants of "Don't LOCK THE DOOR!Don't LOCK THE DOOR!".

The latest and new current nickname Easty has is "Puppy". "Puppy" came about because my Man's beside table, really isn't a bedside table, its an end table, and there, whistle-nose-snoring, you will find our youngest child cuddled up under the table. It can't be comfortable?! It definitely can't be more comfortable than her BED.

She knows that if she crawls into our bed, we will march her little hiney right back to her own bed. Easty is the worst, she will lie diagonally so her little toddler feet rest nice and perfectly on your back, where your kidneys are located. As she is a restless sleeper, she will kick and flip your kidneys until you are peeing blood. OK so I am exaggerating a tad, but DAMN it sure hurts.

After about a week it seemed the Boomerangs were not returning, but last night, it happened with the Little Miss E. AGAIN.

I remember my Mom comforting my Dad, saying "Don't worry, it is just a stage they are going through".

I also remember my Dad saying, "There is ALWAYS a stage!".

Oh so TRUE Dad. Oh so TRUE!

If this song drives you CRAZY now, you can understand why I make the comparison.

Unless you lived in British Columbia, Canada or Washington State, USA in the '70s, then you probably didn't see Boomerang, and never heard of it. It was on the KOMO tv channel and I couldn't even find the song on iTunes, which I thought was the Bible of all music. iTunes & Google failed me this time.

Kindergarten Registration - A Summary

2010-01-29T11:38:00.001-08:00

Question: Does how much I love my child depend on how early I will get up to line up for Kindergarten? We shall answer that later.

I lined up in the pitch black shadow of Hazelgrove Elementary, only after I stopped by Starbucks for a Venti and a breakfast sandwich.

I knew that our encatchment was large, but really it's not just large, it's RIDICULOUS.

At 8:00am in the morning, on January 18th, our public school was holding registration for the fall Kindergarten classes. As Easty is going to be in preschool and there is only a morning class, I thought I would go early to ensure that Jackson was in the morning.

After much dicussion with many moms, I planned on going at 6:30am. I believe the Man laughed at me when he heard I was getting up that early. More for disbelief than that it was necessary to do so. I also thought I was maybe being overly cautious as Jackson's school was not implementing full-day Kindergarten. Personally I do not want Jackson in full-day. I do not work a full week, so half-days work fine for me. I enjoy spending time with my little man. I personally think he has too many ants in his pants to be there all day, right now anyway, who knows how he will be in 9 months.

I was happy not to have to make that full day decision. I also was not going to enroll him into French immersion, which is notorious for their line-ups, so I thought I was fine.

Seriously. When I went to the front of the school entrance, I couldn't see anything, so I almost turned around thinking I was insane but I didn't, PHEW. When I got there, I saw camping chairs, tents, laterns, coffee makers, and a really weird wonky line-up, made up of mostly all my neighbours.

I laughed the BIG laugh.

I guess that I am not in the Neighbourhood loop. As pretty much my whole 'hood around me with kids the same age as Jacksy, was lined up ahead of me.

I asked my police officer neighbour, as he was #1 in line, what time he got there. It was 4am. He also kind of gave me that answer in a matter-of-a-fact tone, dare I read anything into they way he said it.

OhMyF@#$ingGod 4am. He said it was imperative that he be there that early, they had been supposedly planning this for a while. He would come after night shift and line-up with our other neighbourhood parents.

The staff took mercy on us parents and let us in, where we all received a number.

I was #32.

Kindergarten classes are made up of 22 students so Jackson should be able to get into one of the two or three morning sessions. Thankfully I got up early but I really felt sorry for all those other parents, who unsuspectingly probably found out too late how large our encatchment is.

I thought I was an informed parent, with friends in the school system, and the fact that I researched all the information that I needed to have online. I think I was all PMS-teary gathering up all the information I needed. And you need TONS: Your childs birth certificate; ID/Passports both your child & you; a piece of mail with your current address-that isnt older than 2 months; something stating that the child is yours-I luckily just had a extended health care-as Js birth certificate does not state we are the parents. I actually needed more information than to get his passport.

This is the problem with being in an area of high suburban growth.

Funny AWKWARD moment happened when I started chatting with one of the familiar faces in line. I thought it was a friend-of-a-friend that I knew. I asked her how she knew all my neighbours and I joked, how I guess that I am not in the gossip pool of the 'HOOD, as everyone is ahead of me in line from my street and across the way.

She kind of gave me a funny look.

Later I realized that she is my NEIGHBOUR as well. I just usually chat with her husband more, as he is overly friendly & super chatty, and only wave to her when she is having a cigarette on the porch. I knew she looked familiar.

Are my kids too old to claim Baby Brain anymore?

I am SUCH an idiot. It is going to be hard to dislodge that big old size 9 1/2 outta my mouth. Luckily I have yet to see her as I do not know what to say, well except to joke and say that I obviously thought she was someone else. Honestly, I think I only recognize her with the cigarette in her mouth.

Answer to the question: NO, but unfortunately that was the impression I got, but if you love morning K-sessions and bragging rights, you can say YES.

I sometimes have too look at my life and just laugh.

I was an unsuspecting 20 year old back in the day, who thought she would be smoking menthols and petting her 15 cats as she rocked on her front porch with her friend Jane sipping wine. Our days would consist of talking about the young-dumb-and full of well-you-know from days gone by.

AH-YAH-NO not quite how I predicted it but OH-SO-LOVING how it is turning out.

Even if it does consist of getting up WAY too early for public school.

Cactus Club has Rotating Toliet Seats.

2010-01-17T12:12:00.000-08:00

The other day, my Man and I decided to do some running around with the kids. Hit Home Depot, grab some groceries, spend some of the Starbucks gift cards, when we found ourselves and the kids starved, and no where near home.

We decided to spend some more gift cards and hit Cactus Club Cafe in South Surrey.

My Man and I have had some success with the kids at other restaurants, to the point of absolute amazement that we may be beyond stay-at-home for all meals. The kids are bigger now, and can be entertained at the table more easily at 4 1/2 and 2 1/2.

Everything was all nice and easy. There was no line-up, the restaurant was busy and noticeably noisy, creating that noisy, but intimate with 100 people atmosphere. That constant background noise buzz, that obviously I am not so usually thrilled about, as I LIVE the background noise buzz daily with young children, but hey, it can cover up any kid outbursts that can occur without any notice.

Jackson commented how tired he was, understandable since we were in and out of the car all day. He stated that he wanted to take a nap. OK I thought, he cuddled up next to me. I knew that after a quick nap, he'd wake up ravenous, and eat tons.

That left us with only our second child, Easty. She loves these times of being the only child. Jackson napping left all the attention onto her. We are in the midst of toilet training her, pooping is down pat, but peeing is still keeping her in a pull up when we go out.

Easty had to go to the washroom, she started to say that she had to go pee, but since we didn't jump up right away she exclaimed, "Mommy I gotta go POOP n' PEE!". I of course reacted immediately, being as that I did not have a spare pull up or any wipes, I wasn't prepared to let her go commando if she did poop in her pull up.

So off we went.

I hadn't been to a Cactus Club in years. My first forte into the serving world was as a hostess at the one in Metrotown on Kingsway. I of course was hired just after the Manager that preferred big breasts left. Luckily for me the new manager was a leg guy. As I always used to joke, I could work at Hooters, only on 50% off days.

The washrooms at Cactus Club have these fancy toilet seats, you push the red button and then the clear plastic toilet seat rotates to a new one, then there was a foot flush, and a TV situated in the door.

Easty approved of the bathrooms, buttons and a two year old equally one mommy stuck in the bathroom a long time and visiting the bathroom say 6 times, before she actually DID poop.

After the last trip, our food had arrived at the table. Just as I was starting to eat, I noticed that Jackson was waking up, slowly. I started wrapping up my fajita, and then I noticed Jackson was under the table, kneeling toward the booth. I asked him to sit on the seat, and then continued to eat.

Just as we were about to discuss our children's fascination with crawling under dirty restaurant tables, I noticed Jackson's head jerking forward.

Jackson starting projectile vomiting, and it wouldn't stop. I grabbed him and tried to race him to the bathroom. Vomiting as he went, right in front of the kitchen pass through, lovely.

Thank goodness for rotating toilet seats.

After it seemed that Jackson was on EMPTY, we headed back to the table to find the manager mopping the booth and Chris tackling an escaping Easty, who thought this was OH such a good time to take off and play the can't catch me in a busy restaurant game, with a Dad holding dry rags full of vomit in one hand.

The server came by, and I asked for the food to be wrapped up and the bill, she looked a bit puzzled as to why we were leaving so soon, OK CC servers are obviously NOT hired for their observation skills as stated above, although I was thankful that the noise covered up the hurling sounds of my 4 yr old.

We handed her the gift card, she brought us back the bill and the to-go containers, which we stuffed with the food, and then we bolted, not trying to make eye contact, with ANYONE.

That's when my Man asked me if "Is the definition of INSANITY when you repeat an action, expecting to have a different outcome?"

I am not sure, but I was sure that this was a BIG MISTAKE today.

I think we will stick to White Spot in the future.

When we got home, we were so starved. We jammied up the kids, emptied Jackson AGAIN and put him to bed, and plugged Easty into Treehouse.

As we started in on the fajitas, I noticed something.

We had accidentally taken the bill with us, with all the receipts, and forgotten to tip her, as we were just going to leave the GC remaining balance as the tip.

OOPS.

We will DEFINITELY not be going there again.

Starting 2010 with a Splash!

2010-01-16T10:22:00.000-08:00

I have been SO GOOD at decreasing my online time and spending more time in the real world.

*COUGH*COUGH**BULLSHIT*COUGH*COUGH*

There is ANOTHER story to go with my outing to the Tegan and Sara concert. I think I was just in denial, a little post-traumatic stress disorder.

With the millions of gift cards that my Man and I have floating in our wallets, we never go out re: our kids are not stellar at restaurants saga, we decided to use one to have dinner beforehand.

We were also trying out a new babysitter. Who my son thought was "COOL cause he's a BOY like ME!" And since I can hardly hear my phone normally, I thought that I would put it in my back pocket, so at least I would hear it vibe, just in case the new sitter called with any questions. I always re-iterate to the sitter, ANY question is a GOOD question, I want them to call if they are not sure, about, well anything.

So we had left the restaurant and were heading back to the truck. We still had at least a 10 minute drive to downtown Van, so I thought I better pop-back to the restaurant and use the bathroom. And then it happened.

I went to drop my pants to go, and SPLASH!

Puzzled I looked into the toliet. There right in the bottom, middle of the toliet lay my red Hello Kitty encased iPhone! GAH! I reached right in and grabbed it out, feverishly drying it off with toliet paper.

It was soaked. Luckily I was slightly numbed by the two Keg size glasses of white wine, as my eyes welled up with tears.

I will not cry over a phone. I will not cry over a phone.

I hurriedly went pee while I stripped down my phone from it's HK casing. Already it was blinking messages informing me that "this device is not compatible".

NOoooooOOooooooOOOOOooo.

I got back in the truck. Immediately, the Man threw me the puzzled look. He knew something was wrong. I informed him I dropped the phone in the toliet. He tried to refrain from laughing hysterically, but I could tell he was SO laughing with his eyes, as he let out a slight snicker as he shook his head and stated "only you".

Calmly he Googled "dropping iPhone in toliet fix" on his phone, of course he would pick that EXACT phrase, so EYE laughing. The first thing that came up was "Sure fire fix for dropped iPhone in toliet 'Stop talking on the phone when your pissing DUMMY!'" Yah, Ha! I blurted out to the Google search, "IT was in my back pocket!I wasn't pissing YET!", SO SO laughing with his eyes.

Then I realized that I was not alone in this dilemma as there were 349,000 results for this search. Not to mention the 1,810,000 of those who 'dropped iphone in water fix' and perhaps half of those are toliet water people, who just do not want to ADMIT that toliet water is now in their phone.

EWWW toliet water, I am so immature.

All throughout the concert, my Man was shaking my phone, and TW kept coming out of it. Double EWWW!

The next fix involved rice. So I put it in a bag of rice, um , nothing. Except I had to buy some tweezers to pluck the rice out of the charger area. Stupid rice.

I ebayed, googled, and did my best to find a solution. I soon realized that lying to my cell phone supplier would not work either, as they have some sort of strip that will turn pink, knowing that water damage has occured.

DAMN you Apple.

Current status of iPhone: it works, but the screen is super dim & camera does not work.

Taking it in to see if I can get it fixed. I know you can get a new LCD, but let us hope that I can get a phone replacement.

I feel so LOST without it, even though my Ghetta Jetta does not have bluetooth, and it is now officially against the law to talk on your phone while driving, I am so missing all those Apps, that help me kill time when waiting in line, everywhere.

Just so you know, I did not cry over my iPhone, the water damage is strictly of the toliet kind.

Oh iPhone, best buddy, I miss you. Come back to me soon.

Music and MADNESS!

2010-01-07T13:25:00.001-08:00

January 7 and I am just writing my first post of the New Year.

Well I guess that resolution that consists of procrastinating less is not happening. Ha! Really I do not make news years resolutions, I like to make life resolutions. I personally hate doing something because it is expected to be done at a certain time, also I hate failure. If too many people know, than too many people will know when you succeed and DEFINITELY when you FAIL.

So where was I? Oh yeah, life resolutions.

The last 6 months have been pretty hectic and I am the one to blame for it. Instead of crumbling into an emotional ball or mess when my Dad died, as expected, I decided to go psychotic and overachieve for the rest of the year.

I continued going on trips with the McMoms, I decided to take a course for my degree, I trained for and completed the Seattle Half Marathon, I took up Intense Cycling Endurance classes (I.C.E.), started weight training, and kept up with the kids routines. Preschool, gymnastics, creative moves, family game time and family dance time, basically connecting with them.

OK I am tired now.

During the holidays, a work Christmas party got cancelled, um, 15 minutes before it was supposed to start. This is the party for which I had a *DISCUSSION with the Man about his attire. We ended up going out for a nice dinner and movie, so CLICHE, but yet so fun at this time in our life. We decided then and there that we should *AHEM Do this more often!

You know, the word, RECONNECT.

So, January 6Th we had tickets for Tegan and Sara. OK I know about 5 songs, but I LOVE those 5 songs and I LOVE the Orpheum. It has been a LONG time since I have seen a concert, a new music concert, in a small venue of 3,000. I felt all 20-something again or more like we were SURROUNDED by 20-somethings.

The Orpheum is a BRILLIANT venue and I am not just talking about the immense chandelier, that always makes me wonder, HOW the HELL do they change those bulbs,
I imagine it is all like the movie Working Girl, where Tess (Melanie Griffiths) uses a switch and the chandelier lowers to some Baroque song. The Orpheum actually makes you feel like there is some smidgen of actual history in this city of Vancouver.

Tegan and Sara were sold out. We knew that the two extremely close, small seats, in the row in front of us, would soon be filled with some die-hard or serious T&S fans.

Who knew they would be two tipsy, overly exuberant, 6'6" women, who were literally on the edge of their seat, singing every word back and forth to each other, texting like madwomen, acting like teenage girls at a Jonas brothers concert, or so how I imagined one of those concerts playing out.

Here is where I love my Man. One look at him, I knew he was thinking the SAME thing, it's T&S, fun but not music to flail limbs and rock out your devil hands signs towards the band, which they were doing, and which NO ONE ELSE was doing. And everytime they would sing the words to each other, which was every song, I had to move my head to find some stage, did I forget to mention they had heads a big as WATERMELONS.

Big Women Big Heads.

It was hard to be upset because they KNEW all the words to EVERY song. This is the MILD version of the Amazonian women.

Regardless, the reconnect did happen because we soon realized that we both LOVE every song of Tegan and Sara, we both DIED of laughter at the BEST DISS by Astronautilas, and really, the girls in front, created more Inside Joke material for us than we could EVER hope for.

WATCH UNTIL ABOUT 2 MINUTES IN. AWESOME DISS.

It felt like my Man and I were young and dating again, well UNTIL we noticed the time was 10:30pm and the babysitter was 16, and it was a school day, and we still had to drive home to the burbs 20 minutes away, then drop the sitter off, and well, we had to leave, no encore, if there was one.

My Man did buy me a T-shirt, a small, a BOYS small.
Go Steady with Me!

The Christmas Hangover

2009-12-30T15:54:00.000-08:00

What is a Christmas Hangover you might ask?

No, it does not NECESSARILY have to do with alcohol although alcohol can be a part of it, and it definitely doesn't mean watching the Hangover movie at Christmas time, even though I did watch it again this week. Bradley Cooper, in the bedroom, in HD, YUMMY. Sounds like a game of Clue.

It's the tiredness, the exhaustion, the kids always wanting something, the late nights, the early mornings, the sleep-ins, the commuting, the whining, the tightness of the pants, the wearing of the fat pants, the constant fun socializing, the drinking, the goodies, the EXCESSIVENESS, the doing-so-much-in-such-a-short-period-of-time, and then...

Then its over. WHA-WHA-WHAAAA.

It's the Christmas Hangover. Where you need to plan a holiday from the holidays. Luckily many of you plan for the Hangover by taking the time off. I did not. With all the events of this year, my Dad, the McMoms trips, the cabin in the summer, I had no more holidays. Every year I plan to take Christmas off, then well you get sick and you realize that you have nothing left in the bank/work vacation.

This Christmas there was many firsts with the kids. We all debated this time for which tree to HARVEST. Jackson wanted a BIG TREE and Easty wanted a 'ITTLE ONE. We opted out of the Baby Grand that was the size of someones minivan and went with a very lovely smelling fir.

The tree fell down, twice. Note to Men: duct tape will not fix a wobbly old plastic tree stand and when your Lovely Wife calls to tell you it fell she is just looking for empathy and not asking you to do something about it.

Jackson declared that this was "The BEST Christmas EVER!". I mean he should know he has experienced a whopping four of them! This year both children GOT IT and it was AMAZING to see. You really cannot wipe the smile of your face when you experience the intrepidation, the enthusiasm, and the wonder of the season, through your children's eyes.

The monkeys bought each other presents. On the 23rd of Christmas, somehow, somewhere the lil monkeys got in their lil monkey heads that they should buy Christmas presents for each other. I mean DEMANDED! I got to bear witness to an actual full parking lot, fun, fun, fun. It was pretty funny when Jackson kept holding up toys and asking Easty "You WANT to buy this for me RIGHT Sissy!" and of course the litte sister nodded yes and then big brother Jackson again DEMANDED that I buy her "TWO Barbies Mommy!".

This year I actually took a current picture and sent out Holiday cards with it on. AMAZING amount of high level achieving going on here. I did experience one slight problem as I posted American cards with Canadian stamps, right postage wrong stamps.

This year we did not celebrate with either my Mom or my Dad. Mom went to my brothers in Edmonton and well, it was definitely different without my Dad. We missed him, we missed them BOTH. He would have definitely given my Man a hard time this year, in a good way, for not getting the Christmas lights put up on the house. We had the really cool snowflakes out but this year the outside house lights just did not happen. Considering everything, I think we did a good job of celebrating this year, without Dad or Mom.

We celebrated with the Jesson family on Boxing Day at the Chumpy's house this year. Instead of doing the present exchange this year, my Sister-in-Law had a fantastic idea, we all donated to a charity in the name of the person that we had. This year I had my Sister-in-Law and as she is a Veterinarian, so I donated to the S.P.C.A. in her name. I apologize now for the scads of donation mail she will now receive. In turn, she donated to Ronald McDonald house in my name. She had a great experience with the people collecting the donation, as she could not go down, they arranged for her to do it locally.

AWESOME RMH Vancouver and a great idea Mrs. Chumpy.

Now we are looking forward to 2010. The Olympics are coming to town and even though we still do not have tickets for any events, we are going to experience some of the Cultural events happening around town. I am still crossing my fingers that McDonalds needs a McMom Correspondent, hint hint. One of my Bestest Friends is coming to visit in January and February and I am so looking forward to seeing her. I am booking holidays and hoping that we really have some fun this year.

Happy Holidays to all of you and your families.
Let us hope for a very Happy and Healthy 2010, with lots of LAUGHTER.

The Machine Gun kind!

2 More Sleeps

2009-12-23T13:52:00.000-08:00

It is two days until Christmas and the lil Monkees are getting RESTLESS and it is driving me NUTS.

I am rethinking the whole countdown with the chocolate advent calendar, besides the I want my TOCALATE every morning from my 2 year old and the way I had to commando open it with a pair of scissors cause the chocolate kept slipping down, it seems my
4 year old is experiencing Christmas Anticipation Anxiety.
(YES I am making up my own diagnosis).

He knows Christmas is coming but it seems to be

Taking Forever

as he puts it.

Last night, he tossed and turned, rolled and flipped, got out of bed, got into bed, a million little kid times.

Then so I couldn't get angry with him, he kept apologizing for it. This combined with the big puff-daddy eyes, blood shot eyeballs, and dark circles rimming those blueys, prevented me from getting even remotely mad at him.

Then I wondered if anxiety is hereditary. My Man used to have real anxiety about meetings, presentations, and Mondays, for the longest time. I have had test anxiety as well.

Could it be passed down to my little man?

I know stress can be brought on from the environment but we are all calm and collected here, as nothing has been left until the last minute this year, not to brag or anything. I mean, I have even wrapped the presents and the stocking presents. I finished off the JUMBO box of RK for Mars Bar Squares and RK treats.

I have the Christmas cards sent out-well except for the USA ones that I mistakenly posted using Canadian stamps, Eh or Duh!

*snicker* *snicker* OK I better stop as I AM bragging now.

I have even had time to tinker with a new iPhone App.
Santa hats, Snowflakes, and Candy Cane Tackiness for ALL!

Well at least it is ONLY 2 More Sleeps!

My Man Needs An Intervention.

2009-12-20T17:15:00.000-08:00

I love my Man.

But he needs an Intervention, not the A&E kind, more like the TLC style-kind, you know Stacy and Clinton.

I have to admit, a bit of it is my fault. We have been together for 13 years, and only in the last 2 to 3 years that my styling of the Man, has well, slipped. I currently have 2 lil monkees that occupy my style time, that when I finally get dressed, I am exhausted to have to help him, usually he doesn't need my help. Work is a mix of khakis and work shirts, simple, easy, not hard to put together.

Only when it comes to Def-con 1 for laundry, does he wake me and ask if he can wear the black & grey shirt with his khakis, NO, stop bugging me its 5am, you know the answer to that one MONK! GAH!

You have to understand, when I met my Man, he was still wearing boat shoes, you know the ones that were BIG in the Miami Vice years, aw yes, THANK YOU Don Johnson for that fashion favorite.

Many of you may know, I kind of like me some style. I am an old school Jeanne Beker, Fashion TV, Designer lover, Vogue & any Fashion Mag junkie, from WAYYY back. In my 20s I would surely not eat, but spend the grocery cash on an article of clothing that I loved in order to look stylish, so I would starve, but I would look GOOD while I was doing it. I knew that I could always hit the work bar buffet, cherries, lemon & limes, celery, you know the one! Hey if you look GOOD, it can make you FEEL GOOD, which is the most important thing, in my 20s opinion.

Obviously, I can TRULY see beyond the clothes, it is the Man underneath it all that rocks my machine-gun laughter.

So in anticipation of my Recreation Therapist shin-dig, I hit the MEXX 50% off sale and bought him some style, what he would choose, just his hate-um-non-love for shopping for all things clothing orientated for himself, prevented me from bringing him to try it on.

My MISTAKE.

Even through all the texting, and the heads-up Monkey, I am buying you some clothes, it took him hours to try the DAMN things on when I brought them home. Finally with a reluctant sigh, he browsed the goods, and gave a nod, stylish but not overstated, up-to-date but not trying to dress too YOUNG for his years, MOnkee Likey-d it.

See TOLD ya, he likes it too, just not the loud commenting wife, ordering Sales Associates to bring more styles, sizes, and me tugging the begeezes out of the crotch and inseam, well he MAY like that, but you get what I mean, I tell it to ya straight, YES, NO, DEFINITELY NOT, only after it fits, do I check on his preference.

As the time of our event approached-say half hour until we had to leave, the Man finally tried on the goods. Then he stood in them, like a man with a pole up his but, his response - I am gonna HULK this shirt if I try to move in it!

VERDICT: My Man thought it was too SNUG-Mexx has a slim-fit so as I argued that it looked good, trimming and slimming words were used, but I was forced to realize perhaps I did not want that much of the Mans Goods on for show. YEESH- it was too snug to get away with in the pants.

ERRR-so off to Mexx I went to get the money back, as the tensions were flaring so much that I threw my hands up in the air and said that I gave up on wanting him to look good. There was no way I was going to agree that the pants were too snug, not this close to crunch time.

So MEXX store credit is a slip of paper, a SLIP OF PAPER, like every receipt that you get, so I decided to spend it, as everything gets lost in the ABYSS of my purse, especially a silly slip of paper, what happened to gift cards!

So as I am rushing home, I get a call from my co-worker, PARTY cancelled. Of course the party is CANCELLED, because we have a babysitter.

As I handed over the clothes, telling the Man that I could not get my cash back, I just spent it on him but bought a bigger size to make him happy, I also threw in that the party was cancelled.

He SMILED, then wondered how do you cancel a party 15 minutes before it starts, like he was REALLY thinking about that. YOU know he was secretly happy that he did not have to go.

We ended up going out for dinner and a movie, in the end I GOT to enjoy the new Man, and he was abso-FRIGGIN-lutely Fabulous.

LOVE his stylist.

Text Love

2009-12-12T13:23:00.000-08:00

Recently both my Man and myself have gotten iPhones.

Personally I believe it has really improved our relationship. If I text him, I am not calling to interrupt him in a meeting with a contact, which would result in me receiving the "I am busy" response in that flat monotone, and me responding with "Why did you answer then?!". He can text back, when he has a chance, and then he knows if it is urgent or just me asking for him to pick up milk on the way home.

Also, it has reconfirmed the meaning of communication, and that, really, I LOVE our witty repartee with each other, and he really makes me laugh.

Recently we attended the Santa Claus parade in downtown Vancouver. We also had tickets that night to the Bright Lights in Stanley Park. We decided to take my Mom with us and make a day of it with the kids.

Unfortunately, our lack of experience at parade festivities was apparent and resulted in us being separated. I found an empty curbside to sit with the kids and my Mom and my Man were two rows back behind us. Both were too polite to try to squeeze in closer to the front.

As the parade started, so did the Witty Repartee via texting.

The Man:
I bet sissy liked those dancers

Me:
Yes she did! (Ballerina dancers)

The Man:
I got music in me!(Singing pre-teens in brightly coloured shirts)

Me:
It's like live GLEE!

The Man:
Yay--GLEE! Ha
Here's a highlight Genesis security
Oh BOY

Me:
Jackson has to go PEE!

Me:
Jackson has to go Pee!
It's the Russian Santa
Check out sexy Mrs. Russian Claus

The Man:
I like that Russian Mrs Claus' Teal little #

Me:
Jackson has to go PEE!

The Man:
20 bucks if you tackle that PIG

Me:
When is this over
Jackson had to go with Mom to go Pee

The Man:
Where? An alley?

Me:
Thks for noticing me crowd surfing him
I don't know

The Man:
You gotta be kidding

Me:
Don't you read my texts?!

The Man:
By far the best band yet

Me:
Haha u just like the chic dancing

The Man:
The sassy one YES
Enough propaganda already these fricken parades R corporate

The Man:
Those bass players were faking it
You think they would practice

ME:
K Jackson is back lets go after Santa

We now joke that my Man has selective reading instead of selective hearing.

I mean how many texts did it take before he realized that I mentioned Jackson had to go PEE?!

You can GUARANTEE that Easty spilled half of that Organic buttered popcorn, say 5 minutes after I gave it to her to hold.

All in All a BRILLIANT Family Day!

Running Smarter

2009-11-30T11:47:00.000-08:00

I* DID it!

I* CONQUERED the Seattle Half Marathon this weekend, as well as the Outlets on Black Friday, and survived to talk about it. I luckily did not need to use my $5,000,000 in emergency medical insurance, although there were two times when I precariously dashed across the downtown Seattle streets trying to find an Italian restaurant that would take nine the night before the race, you know CARBO-Load.

Note to self: reservations, multiple choices, or just do the carbo-loading dinner that you can buy with the race entry.

Speaking of notes and lessons, every time we do a race, you always learn something.

This year I learned that I could have kicked it -sprinted- sooner, but I was tentative about the last hill before the Glory race through the tunnel onto the stadium field. Now I know how RUDY felt. But that IS IT, YES, seriously that is it! Amazing coming from the Over-Analyer.

Finally after 6 half marathons in 3 years, I pretty much got it right, well this time.
In no particular order:

1. E created hill training equivalent to the race, and let me tell you there were a few hills. And although I moaned and groaned during training, it was WORTH it for the race. YES, I know!

2. I timed my gels to work just when I needed them.

3. Trimmed the toe nails a week in advance, so as to be not too short = blisters, or not too long = blisters & pain &/or loss of nail.

4. Stayed with my pace and did not get caught up in the rush of the beginning start.

5. I had enough to eat & drink prior, enough to have energy & stay hydrated, not too much to feel like I had water baby or food baby in the tum-tummy.

6. I took my Advil at the right time, to numb the knee pains, that were to come.

7. A perfectly timed POOP in the morning, so as not too feel clogged or needing to go, combined with the perfect timed emptying of bladder.

8. A pretty good sleep Friday night, and an AWESOME sleep Saturday night, on my Westin Heavenly Bed.

9. An early enough & carbed up enough dinner to feel good, plus a lone GG & soda to settle pre-race jitters.

10. Ran my OWN race.

Everytime you do a race for the first time, you realize how you could have had a better experience. This year we went down two days earlier, it was more expensive, but it felt way more relaxing, well even though I woke up Saturday at 6:30am feeling like it should be race day, it was more relaxing.

This year when we hit the outlets, I realized that my main goal was the race, and that I did not want to have the tired legs I had last year. We kindof got caught up in all the shopping last year, bought way too much, and walked way too much.

This year Me and E(my running partner), took our time, went to Bellis Fair, nothing worth standing in a line-up that circled the entire Target store, for.

Had an AWESOME breakfast at IHOP, where I unleashed the machine-gun laugh upon all the American folk eating their 3 inch thick side of ham that completely covered their platter plate. Also at IHOP, I realized that they should make the plates bigger, as the servers were actually PILING the pancake plates ON TOP of the other food. I do not know about you but, EEEEWWWWWWW, comes to mind, how clean is the bottom of the plate or the pass thru for that matter, and then you are stacking the plates!?!

Mosey-ed on down to Costco, and then onto the Premium Outlets in Tulalip.

I am a quick change, I could have been a catwalk model-well except for the lack of photogenic ability & my need to actually eat food- because how quick I can change, SPEEDY, even without a changeroom. I was in Banana Republic for about 15 minutes,5 minutes trying on tops over my spaghetti strap tank, and 10 minutes waiting in the line-up. Where I learned that the retail cashier guy, had to work till 10pm and he started at 5am, and where he did not know if he got paid overtime for working more than an 8 hour shift. Wow, is the economy so bad in the USA that you are just happy to have a job to work on a HOLIDAY!?!?

Then I felt like I was done, but the anti-climatic moment made me want to meander just a little while longer at the outlets.

I stumbled on the Kate Spade store, did not know it was there, and guess what?

YES! YES! YES! I am now the proud owner of a Kate Spade bag, regular price $445.00 marked down twice to $169. then marked down again 50%....leaving me with a final price of $110. with taxes, I figure $119. with the exchange rate.

AWESOME.

Really though, I bought one in my twenties and I KNOW they definitely were not that much before, *sigh*, as I get older, everything I like is more expensive or I guess I am sick of the stylish, but crap bag, that falls apart or melts in the sun. *****Seriously, I had a bag do that one year, HONEST engine.

My only regret about the Seattle Half?

That I forgot about getting that finishing photo, I just booked it towards the finish and didn't go into the middle, so I am a blur of black & white polka dots over on the left side. Hey there were finish line stragglers, I couldn't run 'em over, well not on camera.

My favourite is when someone voiced "THAT just makes me SICK!" as I sprinted with all my might the last 100m, HeeHee.

This year did not feel as bad as it did last year, I was doing a lot of kicking myself last year for having the tired legs, and I just felt MORE prepared for the hilly ascents and decents. This year we had a lot of First-Time Half Marathon runners with us, and I am IMPRESSED with their QUICK times on such a hard course.
NOW that I know how FAST they are, they have no excuse not to run with us.

NO more complaints ladies that we are SO FAST or we run too many hills, as you have proven you are Speed Vixens as well!

NICE RACE!

I*=WE:

C-Personal Best for a Half EVER, 2:00:54, shaved off 17 minutes from last year.
H-First Seattle half, 2:09:17
L-The FASTEST of us all, 1:52:56
F-First half EVER, 2:23:00
G-First half EVER, 2:16:16
J-Personal Best for Seattle half, 2:15:43
and of course my infamous running parter, none other than
E-Personal Best for Seattle half. 2:18:27, shaved off 6 minutes from last year.

Props to our #1 Fan S!

E, we may be getting older but our times are getting faster.

Me:Last year 2:16:01 This year 2:13:52.

Vending Machines with Pull-Ups

2009-11-26T22:09:00.000-08:00

Where did November go!?! I must have blinked, because here I am, doing my usual last-minute-laundry before I have to depart, in like T-minus 4 hours and counting.

Its race weekend, ready or not, its race weekend, GULP.

This week went quickly, it could've been because I was completely distracted by my Hobble-Along Easty.

Tuesday morning, Easton decided to cry, and then to complain of a BOken Fut, as she put it. Hmmm, then Easty started limping around, all while exclaiming that she was adamant about going to JIM-astics Mommy. She basically could not put any weight on it and would bail after taking a step, then cry that she had fallen.

I called the Doctor, just to be on the safe-side & check it out, and this is where the epic day began.

One Doctor visit, where it was determined that her right knee was extremely swollen, and that she could possibly have a septic joint, which could be caused by a severe bacterial infection that could transpire into loss of use, or loss of limb if not caught within 24 hours, LOVELY.

One Children's Hospital visit, where we got our blue card, and where we were directed to the wrong area. Our first experience with a Doctor, ended up having Easty run across the room, without a limp, as only Easty can do. I have children that do not present with anything in the presence of Specialists, and then finally a Limpy/Hobbly Easty appeared when a second Doctor arrived and the concern actually appeared on the two Pediatricians face.

After determining that Easty did not have any pain, the two Doctors agreed to a possibleTransient Synovitis. Um, did you just not see her run across the room even though she was obviously experiencing some limited movement, *SIGH*

One McDonald's visit, where Easty kept trying to run around the playplace, even though she was sweating and bailing after a step and a half, still not complaining but obviously injured.

Then after battling rush hour traffic from downtown Vancouver, we were home.

Where, she spiked a fever. Again, bad timing Easty. All throughout the Doctor examinations, they kept asking about a fever, last week, last night, today. But NO, no fever until we get home. *SIGH*

Waiting at Children's it pretty great, you know considering, I believe all hospital waiting rooms should have big screen TVs, and every examination room should have DVD players with a wide selection of kids movies, like at Children's.

All I needed was a vending machine to dispense pull-ups, and a McDonald's drive-thru and I would've stayed overnight, well maybe not, but I was pretty impressed and thankful for the Little Einsteins and the Wiggles, around hour three.

During all this I had to email my Prof as I had a presentation to do, and well I do not think I was going after all this drama.

Luckily, she let me off, minus the 5% for my presentation, whatever.

I still have to bring a Doctors note, GAWD I feel like a such a child, to have to bring a Doctors note, for my visit to the Doctor with my daughter, somehow that just seems weird to ask my Doctor for.

As I pray that I find the match to my favourite running socks, and I bid you a Happy American Thanksgiving today, as tomorrow I will try my hand at shopping on a Black Friday state-side.

I made sure I got extra health insurance, only $18.90 for $5,000,000. Gosh wish I could get that return on my money, ANYWHERE. After seeing all the bodies seeking medical attention at last years half, I thought perhaps it would be a good idea. Known for my clumsiness, I would've bailed, running to get a deal on some Christmas Jammie's for the kids.

OH did you know that McDonalds Strawberry Shortcake toys have stamps?!

Insight Comes Full Circle

2009-11-19T19:39:00.000-08:00

I am smiling as I listen to my children babble nonsense to each other, as they are having a playful bath together, I think of how precious these moments are, and how they could be so easily lost without our recollection of them.

I know I wanted to have children with my Man, when I realized he was someone I loved sharing a hearty, deep, belly-laugh with, and that I was drawn to, my own partner to experience life with, what a journey we would have and are having.

And that makes me think of Annisa, Annisa Mayhew and her family.

I found Anissa through Ali Martell, a fellow McMom Correspondent and a veteran blog writer, when I followed Ali's waxing on parenting skills at Aiming Low. Anissa is the Head Whip-Cracker over there.

I have never met Anissa but like most individuals who read blogs, you feel like you get to know them, and have an insight into their personality, with Anissa I really appreciated her clever, and brilliant sense of humour, I mean cmon Head Whip-Cracker!

Anissa is a Mom, just like most of us, and has a child fighting cancer, like some of us, and just suffered a stroke, like none of us.

When all this happened, I was compelled to be supportive. I have always wondered about my clients, what were they like before their life was affected, how much has changed from their original personality, and how much has stayed the same. I have talked to family members and seen how affected everyone is, not just the individual, and just wanted to know more, more in order to be more effective in what I do. More because really, I care, I care about the people in my community.

Ironically, I am working in Specialized Rehabilitation, with many individuals who have had a Stroke or an Acquired Brain Injury. I am also researching and working on a project for school with Stroke Recovery of British Columbia, and currently I know someone who is about to have a surgery to prevent the possibility of a stroke, all this, while I am in the depths of reading My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.

I do not believe in coincidences.

So this leads me to here. A place to just write and say, hey, someone needs your thoughts and prayers, and even if you are like me and really question the God factor, you have to admit that there is something out in the universe that is definitely bigger than us, and hopefully the universe will do something phenomenal and bring Anissa back to being Anissa, fully and completely.

Because if there is one thing I know, from all of the blog posts I have read, when Anissa wakes us she is gonna be one HELLUVA Advocate for Individuals that have survived strokes, and she is going to do it with that BRILLIANT sense of humour that keeps me coming back as regular follower and avid reader.

So even though my meager blog following probably would not in any way make a dent, I still encourage the few of you to donate. So instead of that Starbucks, Timmys, or McCafe, give your coffee money to a family that needs some help at this moment, because anything is something, and if you have little money, then sometimes something can be as simple as a positive thought or prayer.

Thinking of you Anissa and Mayhew Family.
If you would like to donate, click on Anissa's picture at the top.
for more up-to-date information visit Hope for Peyton.
If you would like to send a positive thought or prayer you can sign Anissa's guest book at Caring Bridge.

Is It That Time of the Year ALREADY

2009-11-15T12:30:00.000-08:00

No I am not talking about Christmas, I am talking about the DREADED Womans exam, you know your PAPS Smear, your Internal or whateveryouwanttocallit exam, your HUMILIATING but necessary exam that really decides how you, as a woman, chooses your Doctor.

When I started to have these fun things done, my family Doctor was a Man, and the Doctor that I have had for my WHOLE life. He burnt the warts off my finger, and lied that it would not hurt, I was DEFINITELY going to go to a woman. Hello I was like a teenager, had not even kissed a boy at this point, and was not going to spread or stirrup the legs for just any Doc, who knew if I even had pubic hair or my period at this point, I guess I must have or I would have used that excuse.

Personally, I find this more scary than any trailer for SHUTTER ISLAND, The Box, or Paranormal Activity!

Many uncomfortable exams later, and realizing that male doctors seem to be more considerate than the female doctors, I have decided to stick with the Doctor that helped bring Jackson into the world. If a Doctor can make my Man laugh, while waiting for one of the biggest moments of our life to happen, hes a KEEPER.

Such a KEEPER that I even whacked-pruned the bushes, and hacked down the OLD Growth Forest on the legs. My Man got a little worried, as he thought perhaps he was missing some sortof special ocassion, nope Honey, just the Doctors appointment.

New things:

A New Gown, that actually is like an article of clothing, not a sheet. Comes with a little belt, that although I tried to untie it, the Doc just ripped it apart, making me feel a little embarrased. Really, he has seen it all.

Checking for Ovarian Cancer. Knowing how many young women that were in Hospice for Ovarian Cancer was astonishing. It is usually detected so late, that it is too late for any form of treatment. Any weird aches, swelling, or even odd shaped pooh, could be warning. So all you -secret- poop lookers, who do not want to confess to poop watching, or if you do not, LOOK.

Symptoms to look for that are mild include: If you experience pressure or fullness in the pelvis, abdominal bloating, or changes in bowel and bladder patterns that continue and/or worsen. See your Doctor.

The most shocking thing was that I was unaware that their are no early detection or screening tests for Ovarian cancer. It is basically up to us to notice different signs or symptoms, we have to know what is normal and what is different.

Here I thought that I was being all good and responsible, hey we have to take care of ourselves as little monkees rely on us, and here I have to be so very active in noticing things in myself.

I dont know about you, but really, I think of the kids and the Man before myself.

And if I do not want to look at my poop, I am sure these two will, as they also like to follow me into the bathroom CONSTANTLY.

So as I count down the days to the Seattle Half Marathon, 14 days, I can feel that I am not only exercising, eating healthy, but taking care to keep on top of my health, even when I am checking out my POOP.

Is 2009 OVER Yet.

2009-11-10T16:28:00.000-08:00

After 17 and a half years, I finally had to put our beloved cat Toonces to sleep.

You know it has been coming for a while now. Remember the Poop Sundays.

Trying to keep her alive, you know by letting her outside or in the laundry room only, as she had hip, bowel, and urinary issues, and as her constant sneezing of green snot everywhere was just not hygienic anymore.

I have vowed to NOT get another pet, notice how I did not say never, just never say never.

I have not told the kids. Chris said he will, but I think I will take JM advice and wait until they ask, if ever. I now that they love her but I do not know if they will ask for her.

Interesting enough the S.P.C.A. does not euthanize animals anymore, so you have to pay a Vet or the office anyway. So after tears on the way, tears there, filling forms with tears, paying with tears, and tears all the way home, and at home, Toonces is up there bugging the snot outta Dad. They always used to bark-meow at each other, a love-hate relationship.

I so wanted to run out and get a kitten, but I let the fleeting moment go as quickly as it came. Maybe it is a good thing that it is not at the S.P.C.A. anymore.

I just had to think of the Vet Assistant asking me if I wanted to be with her, Ummm NO. I also did not want the ashes, or to take a picture -which I probably should have as I cannot find any digitals pics of her right now-, or to hear how they will do it, as I just wanted to go home, and wallow in the absence of her.

So I did, minus my yappy cat named after an SNL skit series.

Too Much Information.

2009-11-03T14:38:00.000-08:00

Are you sick of it yet, I AM, of the constant information that is completely FOR or AGAINST the H1N1 flu vaccine. My head is spinning, yes, no, yes, but what if, and then what. I am a health care worker, so I get the info from the hospital, you know what the real doctors & immunologists think, but that doesn't mean it isn't the topic of conversation EVERYWHERE. I am constantly getting the fear-mongering spam emails and then the real information and facts, crammed down my throat.

Face it we live in a world where there is an easy way for someone to back up your thoughts, its called the Internet, there is ALWAYS someone there that will agree with anything, and have some so-called study or facts to back it up with.

My Mom commented that now we just have TOO MUCH information and we are bombarded by the conflicting facts of it. Many a times I have succumbed to Doctor Google to solve all my aches and pains, sometimes correct, sometimes instilling the closet Hypocondriac.

My favourite is people who say they have been told, by a doctor or nurse, that they have it, my next question is, Have you been tested or swabbed yet, usually the answer is NO. Then how exactly would they know.

Then you see the heartbreaking stories on the news, like Jen M of Urbansmoms.ca blogged about and you think how devastating, how awful, to lose a child of 13, how I so do not want it to happen to my child.

When working with children or having children to care for, the most distressing is when something could have been prevented, like wearing a helmet could have prevented the head injury, and now if giving the vaccine could have prevented the debilitating effects of a virus or death from that virus, or if NOT giving it could have prevented it as well.

As a parent we all have to weigh the pros and cons, and the parent guilt of how our actions could affect our children, and realize that we cannot listen to all the media hype, you have to do what you feel is right, ONLY after plenty of lengthy reading and research, from qualified people.

I KNOW, I KNOW, they are not perfect either, but I choose to take my advice from people that have trained in the Field of Medicine instead of in the Field of FEAR.

In the end, we lined up at the Guildford Recreation Centre, half hour before opening, with two cranky kids who kept asking what we were waiting for, and after an hour of waiting, got both our seasonal flu shots and H1N1 vaccines.

I do not want to think that if I had only taken them to get the vaccine, that they would be OK. I personally feel that vaccination is our best, and safest, line of defense. ****But REMEMBER you do not have to agree with ME****

As a Mom in gymnastics told me, she is leaving it to God, as he is on our side.

Need to read some more about this, check out the site.
H1N1 Information.
Also, get weekly updates, for all those who need the real up to date facts.

After the 15 minutes, of waiting for a reaction, and listening to the crying from Jackson, and the small whimpers from Easty, we hit the Halloween Costumes that were now 80%off and scored two princess, one with lights, one with a crown, and two Batmans, one black, one classic.

It's a Toddler Halloween Over at the Monkey House

2009-10-30T16:48:00.000-07:00

This year, is a pretty AWESOME year for Halloween with the kids, well minus having to take down any SCARY Halloween decorations, we are officially Toddler-Friendly, as Jacksy didn't want anything that wasn't "smilin' Mommy, ONLY SMILIN!".

We made a Halloween Haunted House. Don't worry it was a pre-fab, NO baking involved, just a lot of finger licking.

Jackson being 4, is loving dressing up, especially dressing up as a Super Hero. He wanted to be Batman and his Sissy to be Robin. Unfortunately, by the time I found a Batman and Robin (at Target/Tar-JAY) it was too late and he had seen Spiderman and was sold on the fake muscles, which he described as BOOBS. I corrected him, but still wonder where he got boobs from? I like to refer to them as your chest or even breasts, or at the very worst, the GIRLS.

Costumes today are EXPENSIVE, Spiderman was $30 bucks, seriously.

I made the unfortunate mistake of bringing Jackson and Easton along, so once he put it on, there was no turning back.

Why would I bring him, you ask?

Well Jackson is at that tender age where if you don't ask him what he likes, he won't wear it. I have a perfectly good pair of closed toe sandals from the JOE line (Superstore, Extra Foods), got them on sale. He wouldn't wear them. He would CRAM his feet into the too small pair, because those are the shoes he liked, turned out they were 2 sizes too small, but he would rather be uncomfortable and wear what HE wanted to wear.

Who knew I would have a 4 yr old fashionista, who loves the colour yellow?!

Easton was all set to be Snow White or a Fairy Princess, we had the costumes already BUT Jackson lovingly found his Sissy a SuperGirl costume. "Be a SuperHero Sissy! Like Me!".

CHA-CHA-CHA-CHING!

Easty was so THRILLED when her CHEE-Cha/Teacher Jen at Gymnastics had the same costumes, in the end it was ALL worth it. Hey Jackson was an Old Navy Monkey for two years running, and I had bought the costume off a friend, so I guess it all evens out eventually.

Wow sure wish I could sew like the kids Aunty L, Grandma J or their Great Aunty G, they are AWESOME sewers and knitters. Aunty L make Jackson a t-shirt and Easty a doll for Christmas, the kids Grandma J actually crochetted Monkey Animals and baby blankets with a FRENZY, and all of Jackson's cool knit sweaters were the loving work of Great Aunty G.

I am lacking that gene, that type of crafter gene, although I did try and knit, I knitted a washcloth, which the Man lovingly commented looked as is the moths got at it, so you could say I dropped a stich or two or three.....

I can make a Leggy Larry though.

I channelled that creativity into this year's Halloween costume...

Winner of the Best Overall Creative at SMH...

Presenting OctoMom.

Taken Down

2009-10-24T11:16:00.000-07:00

The "Stick It Up Your Bird and Use It" post was taken down as it was taken as an attack at my SIL. It WAS NOT MEANT as an attack, it was a way of looking at it in a funny light, because really in the end when all is said and done, we are meant to laugh at life and its ups and down.

I'M SORRY! IT WAS NOT MEANT TO LAUGH AT SOMEONE at their expense, SLANDER or DEFAME their CHARACTER, I was NOT at ALL trying to HURT ANYONE's FEELINGS or belittle them or destroy someone's reputation, because my SIL is the BEST and I LOVE her despite what some anonymous commentors might think.

I have had MANY TURKEYS and DINNERS at my SIL house and have been fine. It was not in anyway to say that she is unsafe in her health practises or cooking, she is ALWAYS CLEAN and HYGIENIC and SAFE, and a GREAT COOK.

My blog is used as a place to look at life, and LAUGH at its ups and downs because when my 4yr old's head was stuck in the toilet and we were fighting for the toilet space together, I wasn't laughing at the time, but had to laugh at it later.

I started this blog to write about the feelings and experiences around the time my Dad entered hospice. I found blogging as a good outlet to write about my feelings regarding the recent death of my Dad, who died battling Prostate Cancer. Many of you knew him and I wrote to be able to let people into my thoughts and emotions without having to explain myself or tell the story multiple times, as it is still fresh and still leaves me emotional now.

This blog was meant to honour my family, laugh and joke about life, and just show my perspective in a funny manner, because sometimes we forget the funny little things that make up our life, and focus on the big, negative stressful things in life.

In the end, it is your choice, you can choose to read it or choose not to.

Feeling like an Old Bitty

2009-10-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the library of Douglas College in Coquitlam, putting the final touches on a project for a 3rd year course towards my Degree in Therapeutic Recreation, specializing in Physical Rehab and Geriatrics.

Initially I spent about 20 minutes trying to log on to the school's computer network, looking on the wall at the instructions and then trying them. I obviously suck, as I spent most of the time bewildered as to why it wasn't working. I was definitely feeling like an old bitty, trying to figure out some new-fandangled technology.

I am completing my degree one course at a time, because, well I have a life. I work four days, I have a 4 and a 2 year old that are completely non-stop active, most importantly, trying to keep up with the Fall line-up, damn there is some good TV I need to watch, and a husband and a house that I neglect, but not as much as I neglect the laundry.

The Laundry, which needs a capital letter as it is so big now that it almost has become an entity in itself.

Some days, I ask why the H-E-double hockey sticks am I doing this?!?

Hmmm, oh because even though I have the experience, unless I have the piece of paper I am limited to the positions and the flexibility in work sites, that BCTRA is heading to degree only to be a member, that inner urge to challenge myself, in all aspects of my life, and my utter an complete INSANITY.

Complaints about the degree program:

Why the Heck am I forced to take some extra first and second year courses? They feel like they have quickly just fluffed it out, in order for it to appear complete. Anything that I have taken, feels like a re-education in what I have already learned. GAH! It almost looks like I have an EXTRA 3 years, not 2!

PROJECTS! PROJECTS! OK if you understand that people that are taking your courses are working, living, busy people with LIVES....then why do they make you do projects, let alone GROUP projects with twenty-somethings, students that are just going to school full-time? Where their only focus is socializing and school work? Like their gonna understand that I can't meet with them as I have to take the kids to gymnastics, grocery shop, make dinner, attempt some laundry?! Not too many 20-somethings understand that doing a project with me, means meeting my kids at some point, sitters are not readily available during the week.

Reflecting. If I have to reflect anymore I will soon become a published Fictional Author. It's gotten so hard to REFLECT, that I have started to make things up, basically making me sound ignorant and living in solitary confinement for the former years of my life. I am scared that I may become a compulsive liar. I could even be in the witness protection program or undercover, if it weren't for my LAUGH.

C'mon Faculty of Therapeutic Recreation, quit making me drive the insanity wagon to Riverview, I know that I am WAY beyond NORMAL by now.

Laughing Out Loud

2009-10-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

It happened today.

My Clinical Supervisor met me in the hall, she wouldn't look me in the eye, she told me that she had some things to discuss with me.

GULP!

I had just requested to have some days off, 2 days Leave Of Absence (LOA) to run my Seattle Half Marathon. Last time we went down on the Saturday but soon realized you kind of need two days, one for travelling and the other one for settling in. The rumour running around was that LOA was being really restricted, so I just thought that it wasn't going to happen and get an explanation for it.

But that wasn't it.

She uncomfortably proceeded,
CS: You know yesterday when you were in the lunchroom?

Me: Well no I didn't have lunch, I went out to run some errands and get supplies for Rehab. Why?

CS: Oh then when you were having coffee in the morning. This is hard to say, but I got a complaint about your laugh being loud, I know that is how you laugh, I just was hoping that you could try to, not be so loud, you know its every body's lunchroom, I know that is just how you laugh. I mean my office is across the hall, and I can hear from my office.

Me: Umm, well it's not as if this is the first time I heard this. Sheesh and I was only with two other co-workers, not even the whole therapy crew.

CS: I know you heard this before, its just loud, and its everybody lunchroom.

Me: OK, I'll try, its' just not really something I can control, you know. IT just happens. I know, you have to inform me. Thanks.

End of conversation. Later that day, my request to have my 2 days LOA was approved. Don't know which came first, the approval or the conversation.

It has happened all my LIFE.

I was told that I laugh TOO LOUD and that can I try to TONE IT DOWN.

Umm, ya think I haven't TRIED to TONE it DOWN, I mean having this distinct and unique laugh does you a WORLD OF GOOD, say, in junior high, or high school. Where you want to, well fit in, not be different.

I have many stories about my laugh.

A recent one included a nurse at the care facility I work at. She asked me if I was in Vegas, YES I was, she said she heard me laugh in the MGM Grand on a Sunday night, and then saw me. I asked her why didn't she just shout out, HEY LAUGHING GIRL from SURREY, but she didn't, she just told me about it.

Another time, another nurse asked me if I ran the Sun Run, she said she heard me at the start, we both laughed as I was of course there.

I even had a friend that was a comedian, he wanted to ply me full of alcohol, and then watch him at his show, and well LAUGH. He was willing to pay me, plus the open bar tab. I declined, this laugh is not good, if it's not genuinely laughing at something I think is funny.

Then there was the personal letter from McDonald's John Betts, President of McDonald's Canada, referring to my laugh as "infectious", as in it makes people laugh, not like the plague.

Then there are the other stories.

I was living downtown, we went for breakfast at Milestone's at English Bay, every time I laughed the table next to me, scrunched up their shoulders, eventually they moved FAR FAR FAR down to the other side of the patio, and then eventually inside the restaurant. Later that night, at the good old Bayside Lounge, having martini's at martini night, the water exclaimed I KNOW YOUR LAUGH, we were sitting at Milestone's this morning, and we were so hungover that we had to move inside to escape you, and still heard you, love the laugh, just not with a HANGOVER.

Another time, working in the Accounting department for Scotiabank, I was waiting to photocopy something in the morning, when someone told me something that I felt was funny. I laughed, and a supervisor exclaimed, NOT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, with some hand gestures that motioned downward. I exclaimed right there, then tell that person not to tell me something funny.

I have a career in Recreation Therapy, where laughter can be one of the best medicines. While I was a full time student, I laughed and one instructor, the flaky one, informed me that she could work with me on CONTROLLING it, because it can be done, because not EVERYONE is going to appreciate THAT laugh.

REALLY?!

Can someone please tell me, if that in Mid-Belly-Laugh, they can just, you know, STOP?

I get referred to as the Nanny, you know Fran Dresher, its not the same, have you heard her laugh?

I have multiple people mocking it, or trying to mock it. You just can't beat the original.

My Brother's favourite line to all my boyfriends was, SO what do you think of her LAUGH?

I remember the first time that my Man and me were going to have sex, I laugh when I'm nervous, I laughed, he kept saying, WHAT, I would laugh, WHAT, I laughed, he figured it out soon enough that it wasn't him.

Now he lovingly refers to it as the Machine gun, Put another clip in HONEY, and just laughs when I come home with these stories.

NO, my children do not laugh like me and my laugh wasn't inherited from anyone in my family.

But finally, in the end, after all, after everything,

YOU JUST GOTTA LAUGH!
Feel free to post any memorable moments that you have had with me and my laugh. Good or Bad, preferably GOOD, so I can LAUGH.

The Morning After...

2009-10-07T16:47:00.000-07:00

Last night I tweeted about the extent of my 16 hour day.

Twitter / Home: "naomijesson busyday park, McD's, gymnastics, park, coffee, McJournal, laundry, dinner, kisses, school, group work, run 4.3 mi, milk run, blog, tweet&fb"

I quietly signed off but really that wasn't the end of the day.

During my 20 minutes-to-Midnight grocery shop at Shopper's Drug Mart, I lucked out and bought more than the milk I was going for.

When Shopper's has a sale, they have a SALE! I can't believe how cheap I got the kids Kashi crackers, and the Triscuit Thin Crisps, less than 50% off, SERIOUSLY. All while racking up a bunch of Optimum points, the reason for my ginormous wallet I lug around, cards baby, cards.

While winding down from our little 4.3 miler, I was on the laptop catching up on the cyber-world and I had proceeded to eat some Lay's Salt n' Vinegar potato chips that somehow snuck in with my other finds, I mean 2 for $5.00, how can I say NO.

One blog post later and I realized, OhMyGod I ate the WHOLE BAG.

I mean a WHOLE bag, all 235g, you can bet I am not putting that in my Lose It app.

All my runs, eating so healthy and light all week, and then I blow it on cyber-eating. I guiltily crumpled up the empty bag, when I heard the Man stamping down the stairs, wondering if I was EVER going to bed.

I went to bed.

The next morning was fine, got ready, went downstairs, and then I noticed the remnants of S&V chip crumbs and bits on the floor around the island. It wasn't a dream, it had happened and there was evidence that it happened.

I imagined that this was like how an addict felt the morning after they fell off the wagon, after they had been clean for awhile.

I am going to I.C.E. (Intense Cycling Endurance) tonight.

ICE ICE Baby!

Just for penance I hope Sharon KICKS my ASS.

Shoo Fly Shoo

2009-10-06T16:50:00.000-07:00

I HATE flys.

Is it because its a hotter summer than normal that we have more FLYS?!?

But why is it October and they are still hanging around me!?

I feel like it all started to annoy me in Fredericton, everywhere I went, the flys followed. Even McMom Ali, commented that they were following me. Flys in the Snotty Fox, I mean Snooty Fox, I always seem to say that one wrong, I guess I have more of an affiliation with Snot than Snoot. Flys at the farm, understandable, but flys at the bar, OK they are no pre-wrestler Mickey Rourke barflys, just the many eye-d grouse ones. There were even flys on the BUS following me through our tour-du-force of potatoes of Fredericton.

When Mickey was still remotely HAWT.

GAH! There is even a fly on my laptop NOW!

Flys at home. I CAN'T STAND IT! I mean really, why wont they go away, we even had an infestation of fruit flys with the appearance of a fruit platter that was brought for the Man's birthday. That was soon remedied.

But these black flys, these flys are making me CRAZY!

We are using our trusted fly swatter killer. Sorry to all you PETA people but they have invaded my home and now they are fair game. You don't just swat em you electrocute em, and remember, this is NOT a toy. It should also say that is does Amuse children when adults use it FRANTICALLY.

Flies are disgusting. They like POOP and they like to land on everything, especially FOOD that the Man will leave out or food that the kids are grazing on.

The worst experience was the cloth diapers, they were obviously forgotten about in the Wet Bag, so we had a pre-infestation of larva mixed with baby flies, that will definitely turn you off using cloth. Rule one of cloth diapering, cloth is not meant for the once a week load, especially in hot summer months, daily, dammit, daily.

I even hate the movie The Fly, never seen it, because really, do I really want to see a giant one on the screen!?

Do you remember the song, Flys in the Buttermilk, Shoo Fly Shoo??!!??

More like,
DIE FLY DIE!

Oh and yes I know the plural of fly is flies, but I don't think I should properly pluralize an annoying pest.

Hockey, should have guessed that it would be hockey

2009-09-26T15:06:00.000-07:00

It's been almost 3 months since my Dad died and I feel like I have been handling it pretty well, I mean considering that he was becoming just a shell of who he was, and even at the end he was fading in and out of reality and his drugged up state.

I work in the same building as the hospice that my Dad was at. He was on the 2nd floor and I am on the 4th floor in Rehabilitation.

I was concerned about working my first day back in the same building after his death, but really it was fine. I just avoided the 2nd floor. Then I went for coffee with the Unit Clerk, she was wonderful during my Dad's stay and I knew her from her stint as the Rehab Unit Clerk. I went in the hospice and I was fine. It felt uncomfortable, but yet I wasn't breaking down or anything.

Then the other Friday, I was waiting for the elevator, and one of the food services girls recognized me and said Hello. She gave me a big hug, and asked how my Mom was doing. I went into the same well rehearsed answers, fine under the circumstances, and that I thought she was strong considering.

Then she started in, saying how with the hockey season starting, how she really missed talking with my Dad, how she used to bug him when the Canucks lost, how she reminded him of game day, as with his medications he would forget, and how much she was going to miss him, miss him NOW.

One thing I could always strike up a conversation with my Dad about, was hockey. I remember him always joking that Sopel tripped on him hair, and was probably smoking too much dope, because of course, if the guy had long hair, he must've been on drugs.

Even writing this I am getting a little emotional, it's true. Life goes on and so does the NHL, but with one less avid fan routing on our Canucks. I remember really wanting the Canucks to win because my Dad would joke, I guess I will never get to see them win the Stanley Cup. I guess he won't on earth.

But if they do ever win the Cup during my lifetime, he's the first one I am going to think about.

Damn, I guess I should have known it would have been hockey that would remind me of you Dad.

Movie what Movie?

2009-09-26T12:20:00.000-07:00

I LOVE movies. It's great to see the latest chick flick with the girls, or a date night with the Man, seeing something current makes me feel like I am with it just a little, seeing a movie out means that I am seeing the whole movie, and some little monkey isn't asking me to watch them poop and wipe, or in need of something from the fridge.

All I have to worry about is myself, if I should pee BEFORE or not.

Yes, yes, these are all great reasons, but the biggest reason I always LOVE about going out to a movie, is the POPCORN.

Popcorn is GOOD, but putting M&M peanuts in it, is BETTER, and of course tons of butter is a must. I once had to request that they fill'er up, I mean c'mon 16 yr. old movie employee, there's enough wasted popcorn on the ground, can you not fill it to the top, it's POPCORN.

Unfortunately, my friends always give me grief. When they first see my creation, they all just ask me, Did you just put M&M's in your popcorn?? Yes, yes I did and I have been doing it since I was a teenager.

At first, it was done so as not to have the M&M's spill, I still have not figured out how to open them without tearing the middle seam, and then Voila, it tasted BRILLIANT and the move was archived in my Movie Popcorn eating history.

Now I get, i'm not sharing with you, you put the M&M's in your popcorn, WEIRDO!

Good because I don't want to share with you either, I want my POPCORN all to MYSELF. The Man used to be that way, all thinking it was odd, but salty n' sweet in not a new combination, and he too was soon turned.

Try it, I am sure that some of you will like it.

I have seen the Vegas Ghetto

2009-09-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we realize the gravity of our actions, not usually at the moment, but definitely later, and how if things just unfolded slightly different, the effect that it would have on our little Monkey World.

It's our last night in Vegas, and we were celebrating the 14 year wedding anniversary of my Man's work partner. After many Cabana cocktails, it was decided that a vow renewal would be appropriate, I knew that we wouldn't have the Star Wars themed one that was proposed, but definitely thought it would be fun to celebrate a classic Vegas Wedding.
Our Cabana, the wives in the forefront, the next door cabana occupied by 10 20something guys, that guy or maybe it was another one, asked us for our cups. I think he just wanted to check out us Cougars, to see if we were on the prowl.

After more shopping at Planet Hollywood's Miracle Mile, and a brilliant dinner at the Italian restaurant, we decided to hit the strip and find a chapel in old Las Vegas.

Dilemma #1: There is a maximum of 5 people per cab, even if it is a minivan, its' the law. There is 6 of us. Our cabbie actually admitted he believed this was in place because then us, fares/customers, would have to take two cabs. How many people do you know travel in odd numbers? We hit the cab stop at Paris and persuaded the doorman to find us a limo so we could all travel together. Sweating like pigs, you know it is the first day of Fall, and realizing that this was perhaps not going to happen, we split up into two cabs.

Oh we were LUCKY, in our LUCKY cab.

Dilemma #2: You just KNOW we are going to lose each other, Follow that Cab, just doesn't work in Vegas as it would work, well ANYWHERE else. We had no address, as we had no idea which chapel to go to, where the chapels were, and the traffic was ridiculous because of all the construction for City Centre is underway day in and day out.

With the advice of the cabbie, not ours, we headed down the Las Vegas Blvd towards Freemont.

Dilemma #3: We had to stop, our cabbie was too good and got us past the Stratosphere in no time flat. We stopped at the 7 Eleven, after getting a phone call that a chapel had been found. Our cabbie suggested we wait for our friends in the car, he wasn't going to charge us, but we had passed our friends and had to backtrack, the easiest would be to walk back. So out we got, and Voila, we were in the Ghetto or at least the armpit of the Las Vegas Blvd.

Upon exiting the cab, we were sized up by a grown man on a bike, I don't like to assume anything but working in Gastown keeps your senses sharp, sharp to realize that a couple, carrying shopping bags, in a tourist town, late at night, with no one around, are the perfect victims, for oh you know, MUGGINGS. I have seen it happen, they bike past you, grab your purse or bags, push you down whilest they bike away, and there is NO WAY you are going to run and catch up with them, oh unless your Donovan Bailey.

Classy Vegas Hotel sign, neon lights out, missing letters or they just can't spell.

Umm, YES, I can say YUCKA to this place.

See Vegas can be cheap, $26. bucks a night.

Then we decided to head to the Stratosphere, where cabs are, perhaps our friends, or at least other tourists and people. Lucky for us, we had a couple who was definitely wigging out, stop in front of us. We slowed our pace when we realized that they were asking local looking people for cash, and we were probably going to get some flack if we said NO, you know shopping bags and all, hey once you have crack you can't really go back.

We made it to the hotel, where cabs and people were, and I had a sigh of relief. Even the Man seemed to relax a bit, and we saw our posse across the street. Turns out the chapels they went to were closed.

Basically, it didn't happen and we took pictures in a gazebo, me being the official wedding photographer.

We hopped in a cab and took the back route, where the Gentlemen's Clubs and Sex shops are two blocks long and bigger than Costco, back to our hotel.

We arrived ALIVE!

I just kept thinking if something ever happened to one or both of us, and someone didn't return home, our little monkees would be traumatized forever.

Another Hoover not the Dam

2009-09-18T18:38:00.000-07:00

My Man is obsessive about the floors, what is with the men and floors?!

I think he just might divorce me and marry the steam cleaner, the MAN probably gets more satisfaction from it than me! OK maybe not.

My complaint, my complaint is that he does it at the most inconvenient moments. Like when we are going to be having people over, and well it takes so much longer to dry on a cold day, or we need to be going somewhere in an hour, but where's the Man.

There he is steam cleaning the damn carpets!

I swear I am just waiting for the corners to start peeling up, I mean have you heard of MOLD Monkey? Excessive amounts of water, not properly drying up, MOLD.

I just wish he would channel that energy into something like the bathroom, where the pee on the floor is DEFINITELY not from me!

Hey at least I am not emasculating like the script wife of Jack Nicholson in ABOUT SCHMIDT. There is no one here berating the Man to sit down to pee or even the boy for that matter.

Flying, Vegas, Food, Boobs and Mental Meltdowns

2009-09-14T20:59:00.000-07:00

I do not travel, why bother, when the whole world seems to come to your city to visit?! ---Naomi Tanaka circa 1992(now Jesson)

I am like the most under travelled person amongst my friends, well until the MQC project came about. Now I like to believe I am more of a seasoned National flyer. I love flying, I love window seats-thanks Miss Z, I love looking at the landscapes, Rocky Mountain Range, the Prairies, it makes me feel like when I was a kid and went to the PNE and in that old building they had that topographical map with a moving bridge on it. Yes, I am that OLD.

Flying leaves me in awe and I am like a child discovering new things. I really, really, really like feeling childlike because it makes me think anything is possible. OK throw up now or do that vomit in your mouth thing, sentimental moment over NOW.

And now we are flying to Viva Las Vegas for a conference for the Man's business. The only other time we went somewhere together without children, then just one child, was in 2006, and it was this conference. We were on the plane, my first ever trip on a plane, and I burst out into tears! NOT because I was scared but because I realized that if we both died on the plane, or in Vegas, we didn't have a will or even life insurance, our baby, Jackson would be HOOPED.

3 years later we have a will and life insurance, aren't we so ADULT now. It just feels so morbid to talk about it, but it's the right thing to do. The will isn't official, just a simple will kit, but the hardest thing to do was appoint guardians. I can't even mention who we appointed, as it might turn ugly in the family, you wouldn't realize the feedback you get from people when you tell them who you want to look after your children, like its a popularity contest or something, as if ANYBODY would be any better than the actual PARENTS.

Hey if anyone is going to screw up these children it better be me or my Man.

Personally I would rather go somewhere HOT, but I'll go to Vegas, I'll go anywhere for FREE! Unfortunately Vegas was not the Vegas I had imagined, less Swingers more Broadway.

Last time we felt ripped off, we both had never gone, and we felt obligated to plan to do things together with the Man's work partners, and their wives. I really don't know them that well, and well we don't exactly hang out, on top of it, they are related to each other. Chris's one partner is the brother to the other partner's wife, confused yet?

Anyway, as the guys went to play golf minus my Man, not a golf enthusiast, we decided to go check out our hotel, New York New York, and the strip. The wives decided to lay around by the pool.

We checked out the roller coaster, it looked so unbelievable, but decided that we should ask the others if they want to go. Then we were offered cheap tickets to Cirque du Soleil show, we didn't know if the others would want to go, so we declined until we could talk to them. We thought it would be great to go up to the top of the Eiffel tower, but decided to wait and talk to the others. WE didn't end of doing any of these things and felt really disappointed about it.

We noticed the time, decided to head back as we were already late for our meeting time, and realized that even though it feels like the hotels are close together, it's really just the illusion that the LARGE and in CHARGE Vegas billboards and hotel signs create, DAMN you David Copperfield!

Once back we soon realized that we were skipping the boat tour of Lake Mead and Hoover Dam, as the boys did more drinking than golfing, and they were in dire need of some rest or at least a small hiatus from alcohol, but they were definitely not having any part of a boat ride.

So we decided to have dinner together. Yeah, I thought, perhaps we can get to know each other. Oh they got to know me alright.

I had just finished weening Jackson off the Boob, Breast for all you shy folks. And I don't care what anyone else says, you DON'T LOSE WEIGHT breastfeeding, unless you are a celebrity who has a trainer, a chef, and a surgeon who performs liposuction during your C-section. The hungriest time in my life is when I was breastfeeding the kids. I would be woken up in the middle of the night, by my stomach growling. My new staple was peanut butter on stoned wheat thins, and an apple, and glass of milk. There was no way that I would be downsizing the diet in Vegas, not the city known for their BUFFETS.

I mentally was still in breastfeed mode, I mean I still wore easy boob accessible clothing like this tank, check out that cleavage!
<----------------------------------------------
We hadn't eaten since 9am, we skipped lunch, and didn't have anything to eat, because we were going on this boat for a fancy dinner at 3pm. Skipped the boat, meet up in the casino at 5:30pm, they show up at 6pm. Drink and gamble for an hour, decide to walk the strip. WE did not have a reservation anywhere, all the good restaurants were full, we continued to walk and drink, I started drinking Caesars for the celery. WE walked, they stopped to do shots, we walked through the hotels for the restaurants, all full, we stopped looked around more and drank more, we walked more, then we arrived at Caesar's Palace.

I walked into the Gap and started to cry, I was dying, DYING of hunger, I couldn't drink anymore, I just couldn't. Then I started to get all super emotional, missing the boy, and tears started welling up in my eyes. Then the others started to slowly notice, and walk away from me, as the Man approached and asked me what was wrong.

I had been saying I was hungry all along, I said I WAS HUNGRY, I totally blurted it out during the tears and self pity sobs.

Quickly they found a restaurant, The Cheesecake Factory, and we proceeded to wait another hour.

It was exactly 10pm, 13 HOURS since food passed these lips, minus the Caesar celery. I ordered way too much, as CF has huge portions, and ate only 1/2 of it. We may not have see the Hoover Dam, but there was some HOOVERing of my own going on.

Then I was normal, well reasonably, I will never ever be classified as NORMAL, I mean, really, its me and all.

Then the wives commented, so you were HUNGRY? I nodded realizing that they were quite scared of the Mental Meltdown Naomi, and stated, well I only had breakfast 13 hours ago.

One wife also commented, that's when we both ate last, thinking they must've had a HONKING breakfast to not be hungry.

What did you eat? I asked, Oh we both split a bagel.

Going Going Gone just wish it was the Snaggle Tooth

2009-09-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

I am NOTORIOUS, notorious for losing things, my keys, my wallet, and now my passport. Yes, you heard that correctly, my very important item needed for travel to Vegas next Sunday. Last place I had it was boarding my flight to Fredericton from Montreal. I know, I know, you don't need a passport to travel within Canada but I hate having to remove my driver's licence from its nice secure viewing window in my wallet.

And then there is the issue of my purse, it's a hobo bag that is just one big, open, vast space, with one zippered pocket. I have already had issues with the magnetic sides, demagnetizing credit cards, bank cards, hotel room cards, and such. I had plans to go purse shopping in Vegas, maybe succumb to the fabulousness of Coach, ya right! I just can't see its popularity surviving, even though I have been lectured on the lasting quality and style. SERIOUSLY? You think that those C's all over are gonna stand the test of time in 10 years? I almost think its too late to buy one, because really, do I need a $300 something dollar bag, or would I like to send the kids to gymnastics?

Then there is my lost n' found history. I had a great relationship with my landlord, because I was always calling him up at 3am to let me into the building, I worked at the Blarneystone as head serving wench, hence the 3am. Either I would lose my keys or leave them at work. I once broke the key in the lock, and then a sign promptly stated that, Please do not open front door using the key, Pull the handle, Naomi this means you.

I once drove away from a grocery store, while leaving my wallet on the side of the truck's pickup bed. We drove back when we realized, but it wasn't there. Luckily, a good Samaritan found it and called us that night, luckily, this is when we were living in North Vancouver, not you lose it in Surrey, its forever gone in Surrey.

Passport Photos, the bane of my existence. It is required by Passport Canada that you cannot have a lot of things, two things that get me, and keep me coming back for more are:

•There must be no reflection or glare on the face or glasses.
Interpretation: wear lots of powder because I am shiny skinned sister.

•Applicant must show a neutral facial expression (no smiling, mouth closed) and look straight at the camera.
Interpretation: this is where my unfortunate problem comes into play.

I have this thing, I lovingly call it the Snaggle Tooth Syndrome. My teeth are not straight. We could blame it on my incessant thumb-sucking as a child, or my under bite, or extremely small palate, or the crappy orthodontist that put braces on me twice, and made me wear both types of headgear, and a mouthpiece that looked like I was ready to box in the ring. In pictures, my teeth look great from a distance, up close, not so good. I have this thing, where if you catch me in mid-smile, my lip seems to catch on my tooth, my Loving Snaggle Tooth!

Here are some pics of it in action.

I couldn't crop out Jackson, as he was so adorable in the tux.

The reason I need shots straight on, you can detect the bucktoothness of it slightly here. I am probably the only one who prays that their front teeth get knocked out surfing, so I could get me some of those darn veneers.

The rest are lovingly DELETED from existence.

A miracle happened this weekend. The new dentist we went to told me that I would be a perfect candidate for invisalign, I haven't been the perfect candidate for anything, so I was overjoyed!

I gave him my ortho-sob-story, stuff in my mouth since I was four, my Dad having to turn a key every night to expand the apparatus in my upper palate, numerous molds that breathing thru my nose and not gagging is my specialty (get you mind out of the gutter Kathy), braces twice, full head and neck gear, and a retainer/mould that could double as a mouth guard in boxing.

I seriously said, please don't lie to me, he assured me it would work in 12 months and that I would have to commit to wearing a retainer every night, forever.

As long as I FOREVER never had the Snaggle Tooth, I am so in.

The consult is next week, let's hope it's cheaper than a Toyota Yaris!

Drinking... like I was back in the day

2009-09-12T20:35:00.000-07:00

I NEVER drink, well not never, more like occassionaly at bar-b-que's to dull the sound of children screaming at the top of their lungs, a two drink max.

I learned all too quickly at my man's Christmas party, free booze, that having a hangover is a definite guarantee that those kids are going to wake up early, your going to be sick, and they are going to have one of those uncooperative days, where they just scream, like when your driving and can't stop, or they just Don't Wanny like Easty would say, all day long.

I never get drunk, anymore, well, maybe sometimes.

Sometimes when you have the opportunity, no kids the next morning and you really don't have to drive, and well you go overboard.

I seem to like to go overboard when I have a 5 1/2 hour flight home.

I was in Fredericton, with the McMom's entourage and well, the Grey Goose and tonics were, buy one shot, get the second one free, and we were done for the week. No getting up early to travel 2 hours to a the potato capital of the Canada and give interviews to the camera guys, who I torture with my ineptitude in front of the camera. I am sure they just want to smack me upside the head for apologizing for the tremedous amount of retakes as I can barely get out, It's our first day, and we are in Fredericton and on our way to the McCain potato facility. I could however recite most of Paul Revere from the Beastie Boys with the help our cameraman, luckily the new guy did not record it so it won't be shown anywhere except in my memory.

***It was a great experience, and you guys can visit the site mcdonaldsmoms.ca or urbanmoms.ca soon to see our adventures, videos, journals, and blogposts soon to come.***

As all the responsible Moms went to bed, and our young entourage retired, I was numb enough to well, stay up even later. Honestly, I never adjust to the time difference and being that I am a nightowl and don't go to sleep until midnight, my time, going to bed at 3am, seemed reasonable all week.

Except I wasn't drinking doubles until tonight.

I found myself outside talking to some local, yokel, Fredericton boys who just turned 21. One was showing his buddy and anyone who wanted to see, his so-called girlfriend in her red lingerie and some topless shots.

Notice the uncomfortable body language, uncertain look on our cameraman Adam.

He showed me, BIG mistake.

I started off all like, wow is that your girlfriend, and he was well kindof just some chick I am seeing. Then I slowly lured him into my lair, of interest and questioning. Before you know it I was asking him if he had a sister, or a girl cousin, or a girl that was just a close friend. No to all. I asked him if she would mind if you showed her pictures, he said probably, then I got all in his face and LECTURED HIM, like a Baptist priest on Sunday.

He ran screaming from me, not really, just left saying he thought I hated him. I must say that his friend didn't completely look like he disagreed with me, as he proceeded to tell us his room number and that they had booze.

Seriously girls, think twice, its so easy to forward pics onto anyone, especially the internet. Don't do it, just don't do it girls.

I had one of those moments, where I felt real good, then I thought, Damn, he was totally a wanna be gangster, all listening to his Eminem, for all I now he could've totally GAK'D me!

***To murder someone execution style, specifically in the back of the head or neck by gun or dagger. Used in a sentence: Foo' went straight up mad dog... He started reachin' fo my Big Mac so I gak'd the boy right there. What? he thought I would'nt gak a mofo? I ain't nobody's McBitch.. So I said "Hold these foo' and took out ma chrome an' put some gak in dat dome" Sheet, Not like I had no choice 'bout it"...***

I could see the headline, On a recent trip McMom Surrey-Vancouver was found shot, suspect stated she lectured me so much that I had to Gak her, to get her to shutup.

Disclaimer: I told the guy, Chase, I would take a picture of his licence so I could warn all the other girls out there about him.

The night ended with a bike ride in the lobby, all I am saying is that it wasn't me.

TMZ would never hire me.

2009-09-08T06:41:00.000-07:00

I am reminded I am going to Montreal Trudeau airport, as I am surrounded by French speaking people. I am bad, I try to eavesdrop, but my Gr.12 French did not include this accent, damn you accent you’re ruining my fun.

Why does Oui sound like Whey?

I love people watching, perhaps because usually I am the one being watched as I wrestle with two uncooperative children in public. I got all high school, and snickered at this lady who had these tights on, that probably first made a showing in the early 1980's. Bedazzled tights with some high boots, Smashing Sister.

Another thing I am tentative about is the Montreal Trudeau airport, gosh where do I go when I am there? Connecting flights scare me, as I have never done it, I always expect that Meet the Parents experience with the lost luggage combined with me being lost in the airport frantically searching for the gate that I can't read or find.

I was totally Stress Festing about Montreal when I got a smile...

A smile from this TALL handsome looking guy with a curly mop of dark hair carrying his blond son up and down the aisles to calm him. I don't know about you, but my favourite scene in the Hangover with Bradley Cooper, is when he is at the reception sitting down with the guys, and his son has fallen asleep on him. I seriously know I am old now, because that is so HAWT! To me there is nothing more hotter than a man taking care of his children. That means some Mom is probably hands free, or at least has only one child, and we all now that is something to be cherished at a function.

Is that not HOT? Is that not SEXY?

Then I realized that this sexy, stylish man looks extremely familiar.

OhMyGod, it's Justin Trudeau and his son, Xavier. I look around to see if anyone else is having this realization, but NO. Everybody is all into getting settled on the plane and doing their thing and being all polite Canadians and not making a big deal out of it, DON'T they REALIZE who this is?!?

Mission Impossible: So I keep planning, planning my attack of how to get a picture, and be all casual-like. This is like Canadian Royalty, I am totally stalking him, his wife, his daughter Ella-Grace, and the two nannies that they have with them. They had two seats in 1st class and a row in good old economy. They keep going back and forth, down the aisles, then right next to me, but every time I want to raise my phone, I get that uncomfortable feeling, and lower my phone. I kept thinking of scenarios, like my Mom would love a picture of you, or my Mom loves you and would kill me if I didn't get a picture of you, but really I just wanted a photo for myself.

I gave up, in the 4 1/2 hour flight, I had about a million opportunities, but I chickened out. I rationalized that when someone famous has their children with them, they may not want to have their picture taken, an infringement on their privacy. Hey, it's not like they are Brad and Angelina or anything, right?!

Then as I departed off the plane, and recognized the Trudeau nannies setting up the stroller, I thought maybe I could get a photo of them walking in the airport, sort of in the background of one of my pics, totally DISCREET right?!

Nah, forget it. I started getting my Montreal connecting stress happening and started looking for my gate.

Then he, yes, Justin was pushing the stroller and walking RIGHT behind me. This is it! This is it! I can just stop and then quickly get a photo of him, or even ask him for one.

I stopped. He walked right by pushing his stroller, stating he was going to the elevator, and then he was gone. If I only had the kids, I would be taking that elevator too.

C'est la vie!

Sadly they were both as good-looking and happy as this picture shows. If I had more guts I would've had my own pic to share with you. This is just one I found off the net.

C'est la vie!

I guess TMZ would never hire me.

I see Skyscrapers.

2009-09-08T05:42:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the YVR, in the new-to-me lounge overlooking the gates, waiting, and waiting, not for my plane, for the damn WIFI to work. Yes, I AGREE, just connect me, damn you YVR.

This morning I went through the McD’s drive thru to get my breakfast fix. Contrary to what most think, I do not eat McDonald's ALL DAY, ALL THE TIME while on my McMoms trips. Yes, I went all haughty totty and went through drive thru in the Town Car with my driver Sid, but really, I just wanted my breakfast burritos and to show my McDonald's Grandma Mabel my ride, unfortunately she was off today.

I found this app for my iPhone for Air Canada. That actually lets me check in with my phone, I still went to the Kiosk, which is a fairly new thing that I now feel confident in calling regular, but I was tentative about the iPhone check in and boarding pass bit.

I DID IT! In Jesson childlike terminology, turns out even for a Technical Tentative like myself to check in via email and iPhone was VIRTUALLY painless! Woo Hoo! Funny at work they call me the more internet savvy person, really I am not so confidant, shhh don’t tell them.

I was relieved today that my bag was only 19.1 kilos because 3 people in front of me were overweight. Cripees, what would I do? I again over packed but seriously what would I do if I was over! I let out a little HOORAY when I was under, it under appreciated. C’mon people I am the funniest person I know! SMILE or just even smirk a little. I was having an allergic sneezing fit, only after I checked in my bag that contained my antihistamines, so I dashed to the restroom to grab some paper for the nose, and found this.

OKAY, so someone else has phobia about public restrooms but this was an eco-friends paper disaster, it was like a skyscraper of toliet paper! And really, don’t you want to clean up your mess for someone else, or did you think it may perhaps clog the toilet.

Seriously!

Seriously?

I'm ALIVE!

2009-09-03T10:10:00.000-07:00

One of the worst things about being sick when your single is that you have no one to take care of you, well except maybe your good friends, or your Mom might come by, if you are seeing someone, you just can't call up the guy because even if he was the empathetic kind, there was no way you wanted him seeing you all makeup-less, feverish, vomiting, smelling like, well poop.

I mean you want to keep the mystery ALIVE!

I would actually save my BUSINESS, you know the BIG JOB business, for work or run out to the nearest public washroom because there was no way that I wanted my man to know that my POOP STINKS like everybody else's! And trust me, I detest public washrooms, hence I never lived with any guy until the Man.

Flash forward to 13 years later, where my man has seen a baby head crowning and the Doctor tearing back the Vag to bring his 1st born into the world, and where the second child came Sunroof (C-section) and had already researched that he DID NOT want to look behind the curtain, but was still traumatized by the violent tugging, pulling, and blood he did witness.

I think back to the Nurse in the Triage of Maternity telling me,
No need to be SHY or MODEST here anymore!

I never thought that this would now apply to the rest of my life.

Now I am begging for him to see my in the terrible state of sickness to get my meager dose of sympathy, but for some reason it just doesn't hold as much merit as it did in the early years. I mean I was basically sitting on the toilet and vomiting in our jacuzzi tub, better use more than Tang* to clean that, quite the dance act as the movement of your body being being contorted & forced into opposite directions would put any SYTYCDC contestant to shame.

Where is he when I need him, at least to fend off the kids as they curiously, and questioningly asked me, Mom what's wrong? Mom I'm hungry! Mom! Mom! Mommy Mommy are you, are you sick? I tell you, I'm raising geniuses here.

Oh he was there, he came back the night before, he was just fixing the DVR. Priorities! Priorities I tell ya! I am just not sure of the man's order of priorities. To his defence he did run out and get me meds, after he fixed the DVR. Immodium, Gravol, and Advil, oh my! With a side car of Gingerale & some Gatorade for good measure.

Drugs! There's nothing like em. Everything was just fine, until 4 in the morning.

Mommy Mom MOMMMMMY I wet my myself! I woke up from my drug-induced stupor to a sobbing 4 yr. old boy. I stumbled to the bathroom with him and turned on the light.

OH he wet himself alright, he also proceeded to poop himself silly. As I was gagging along with the hubby, I thought, wow thank you universe! He hadn't crawled into our bed and then pooped himself there. The Man took him into the shower and I went to survey the runny poop damage in his room. Everywhere from the bed railings to the pillow and most definitely the covers. I was delirious, but I stripped everything and totally weak, lacking any energy I dutifully tried my best to clean it up. After a shower, a quick change for everyone, as poop seemed to appear on us everywhere, I stumbled back into bed.

I thought about that cigarette ad- You've come a long way Baby!

Just like these ads, I look back and think how silly I was back in the day.

Notice in my ineptitude, I had to film with my camera instead of download it, it just wouldn't work.

*Tang is supposed to work wonders on your jacuzzi tub jets, still have yet to try it, although the baseball caps on the top shelf of the dishwasher works wonders*

Fashion-Easty!

2009-08-30T18:33:00.000-07:00

Who is this little Fashionista?

I remember NEVER wanting to wear pink, as I wanted to be a boy, like my Big Brother, and play hockey. I remember that we didn't have a girl's hockey league, so my Mom and Dad had mentioned ringette. My brother stated that ringette wasn't REAL hockey, so of course I wouldn't dare sign up. I lasted halfway through one ballet class, where I proceeded to cry and leave in the middle of it.

As a teenager I played basketball with fierceness, known for my elbows when battling for the ball. I liked Depeche Mode, and hung out at Shakers, Luvafair, and the Odyssey downtown. I was a cross between Mod and Punk. I liked to wear black so much that it looked like I was a permanent member of a funeral procession, I even had the black preacher hat. I had a running account with I.C.E. Mist by Joico and would turn to Aqua Net hairspray in a pinch, it worked well with my krimping iron. I would NEVER wear pink.

My little girl likes all things girly, dresses, the colour pink, and shiny shoes, she's only 2. She will have a Sissy Hissy if you don't dress her in what she prefers. Easty says cheese whenever a camera is around, and her favourite possession is her pink 'Baby' blanket, with accompanying doll of the day.

And recently she enjoyed pretend make-uping, which Grandma got her started on.

I admit to letting my hair designer cut her locks. She enjoyed every minute of it, check out that smile.

When we heard the Doctor announce, It's a Girl! I was surprised, testosterone runs rampant in both our families. My Dad was the second of eight boys, and my Man is the oldest of his three brothers.

I may have been surprised that she was a girl but I am thrilled and love my little girly girl. Maybe Easton might want to play hockey, if she does I bet she will opt for the pink Easton hockey skates instead of the black.

Who's learning the lesson here?

2009-08-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

If I have to hear from the family, just one more time, how the kids have SO MANY TOYS & SO MANY CLOTHES, I may strangle them. Collectively or even one by one. It just makes me twinge when I am told how they themselves had only one doll, or one suitcase/drawer of clothes, and my kids have SO MUCH.

They do, I admit it, but I find it very funny when basically the people making the comments are buying the kids, well the clothes and the toys. My lovely Mom was looking after the kids for one day, and in that one day my son secured a new Batman and my daughter was cuddling a new doll. But this doll kicks when you turn the bottle. Uh huh, OK Mom!

Recently I converted the office, that was basically being used for storage, into a toy room. I try to organize it, and it just eventually becomes a disaster zone, the only thing that saves me is that I can close the door on the disaster. Isn't that a good thing though, doesn't that mean they are PLAYING with the toys if it's a disaster?

When my son was about 18 months, we bought him some Take Along Thomas the Trains. They worked brilliantly, as they were cheaper than the wooden ones, and they would attach at the magnet everytime and not repel each other, which would drive my boy to tears of frustration when they wouldn't work IMMEDIATELY!

When his sister came home from the hospital, she brought a gift of Thomas trains to her big brother. He kept kissing her and playing with the trains, he was so enamoured with her because of it. Jackson has played with those trains for almost two years, he loved yellow Duncan and orange Rusty, as the chips in their paint can attest to that, but now nothing.

He's moved on to Superheros and the next thing to go is the Cars, I can feel it.

Since my husband also complains of the toys, I informed him that we could trade in the trains. He gave me a funny look, and asked if I was sure, he mentioned that some of those trains were hard to get and that Jackson, may be into it at the prospect of new toys, but when it gets to the time to give them away, it may be different story.

I gave the man the whole, OhMyGod with the hand flick, and reminded him of WHO complains about the toys buddy!?

So I gathered up all the toys and decided to have a chat with my boy. I informed him that we could go to a store and trade in his toys for new toys. He immediately said yes, and we packed up the trains & stations and away we went. Men WHAT do they KNOW? Hey this was also a good lesson to learn, I mean make room for a new toy by getting rid of the ones that you don't use, simple but yet valuable. Jackson handed his trains & stations to the toy assesor and told us it would take about 10 minutes for him to go through and give us a total.

And then, all of a sudden, I had this GIANT LUMP in my throat. I think I kind of hoped that Jackson would throw a Class V tantrum and refuse, or maybe I wasn't expecting this lack of disregard for the trains, the way he just let them go with no emotion. I mean the trains, the trains that we bought in Seattle when we went to my SIL's wedding and they were hidden in his tux, the time we hunted high and low for Duncan at the cabin, or the one popcorn car we found when Jackson decided that popcorn with butter was a GOOD thing, or the ones that he got from Easty when we brought her home from the hospital, or the ones that Grandpa bought him for Christmas, OHMyGOD this was a MISTAKE!

Jackson was halfway to the store section and I just couldn't ask for them back now, if he didn't care, why should I?

Dammit, I guess I am the Sentimental Hoarding Collector of the family, who doesn't want to let go of the trains that one little boy just LOVED so much, or maybe its that I don't want my little boy to grow up, this fast, so soon, i'm so not ready.

The Fu Manchu

2009-08-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

I woke up the other day and smelled something. It smelled kind of like the Hippies at Hemp Fest in Nelson. It smelled, it smelled like smelly pits & dirty hair.

Aww CRAP! It was ME. Holy hairy arm pits BATMAN!

At least I am in Academy Award winning actress company.

One benefit of not having the man around, is well, I don't necessarily need to cut down the Old Growth Forest, you know, shave the legs, ALL the time. Yes all you high maintenance gals can act all disgusted with me, but to me its such a hassle. But hey, I shower everyday, sometimes twice, why wouldn't I have shaved, at least the pits, whatever about the legs.

Hey who's that near the stubble?

Damn it! The man took the razor with him, GRRRRRRRR!

Not too long ago, I was scouring the bathroom for the Costco stock of deodorant, my Gillete Lady razor, and my face moisturizer. They couldn't be found anywhere, except in the man's gym bag. Really honey, Venus breeze & Dove deodorant. Were you not the laughing stock at the gym? I even busted him using my Sephora Vanilla Birthday body wash, he thought it was hair conditioner.

I may not be super high maintenance, but I will cover up the greys, shave/wax the pits, and well, wax the STACHE, as in Moustache. Yes, you heard that correctly, I am admitting to an excess amount of body hair above the lip, more becoming on a pre-pubescent boy than a woman in her late thirties.

We LOVINGLY call it the FuManChu.

Being Half Japanese, I don't know how inappropriate or racist it may sound, but have you seen the size of Mr. Chu's stache? Well that is what it feels like on my face. When I think it is getting out of hand, I can always ask the man. If it is really bad he throws in a little, "AH SO! Naomi-san". Totally mixing asian and oriental here but I am milking my halfness to the best of my ability.

I looked in the mirror, after my de-hippefying shower, and noticed a whisker. Seriously, like the stereotypical kind you find growing out of a mole. Do they get darker and thicker as you get older?

Having the man away isn't helpful when it comes to trying to maintain your beauty. Threading is quick and cheap but difficult with children running around, and appointments for hair and waxing are definitely out, still need a sitter who is available. Hello drugstore. I always get the only male clerk when trying to check out, and the damn makeup lady was busy making-over someone.

I don't care when it comes to tampons or pads, live with it buddy, but facial body hair remover is somewhat embarassing, especially when I couldn't find any tweezers and was sporting the big ol' fat cat whiskers.

I just didn't make eye contact, tried to hide it with the other stuff, and bolted with the kids pronto.

No wonder women got sucked into buying these.

Whatever MOMMY!

2009-08-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

This blog is from another site I started, but my ineptitude, if that is a word, at computers is obvious, at least I can cut 'n paste!

Ummm, excuse me? When did that happen. My 3 year old has 'TUDE as in ATTITUDE. So much is happening so quickly that I just don't know where the time goes. I really do understand now, how I was completely forgotten in my single-dom by all my friends when they were starting to have their children.

You know how you were the Perfect Parent UNTIL you had kids. It is just a WHOLE other wave length that we are on when kids appear. OK so they just don't APPEAR, the whole 9 or is it 10 months thingy and all. I mean its 40 weeks, 4 weeks in a month, isn't that 10 months then? But I have learned, having two children both ways, one Tunnel (V) and one Sunroof (C) that it's not necessarily how they COME into this world, as the midwives and doulas would like to brainwash you in feeling, but its how you raise them.

I am completely in the throngs of Kid-dome. I mean my son is in a preschool daycare 3times a week, skating on Saturdays with Dad for a 1/2 hour, Swimming on Monday and Wednesday nights for a 1/2 hour, Creative moves on Monday morning and various playdates and parkdates varying Monday and Tuesday afternoons! His poor sister Easty, she just gets to tag along now, later Easty, it will be your turn later.

Ooo I almost forgot, both Jackson and his sis get to go to a childminding whilest Mommy & Daddy take the COPEing with Toddler Behaviour parenting class on Monday nights. Yes, we did have a little overlap for 2 Mondays there but neither was more important than the other. Unless you talked to the hubby who, BTW became an outspoken opinionated class nerd in parenting classs.

Seriously my quiet man had a TON to say. Although he was a parenting class keener while there, he was a "What did we really learn?" Because they say in the beginning that we are not hear to work on individual problems, but here to give you the tools to (ahem) Cope with Toddler Behaviour better.

Well the first time we (I)tried this course we made the mistake of taking it in Guildford, well where there was nothing but single moms, there was two actual other couples but they both used english as a second language! It consisted of me, who had to be there alone because the man's hockey team was in the final gold medal round of Adult Safe Hockey and winning, COUNSELLING all these single moms who just turned the attention all on themselves and the problems they were having with their child.

The problems with their boyfriend, who swears in front of her 2 year old son, or the boyfriends mom who likes to smoke in the presence of her 2 year old, and how her boyfriend yells and has a tendency to throw things and break things when he is mad, yah real relating there, NOT at ALL! Girl LEAVE HIM you FOOL! His mother obviously smoked something/cigarettes in front of her own son causing him to lose ALL his brain cells but really LEAVE YOU DUMB ASS LEAVE! Sorry, thought I was watching reality TV there for a moment.

***I SERIOUSLY give any single parents praise, as I do it intermittently and really it's HARD. I personally love that I can share the pain. Why suffer alone?***

Then another one was starting to empathize with her and I knew this was NOT for me!

Problem is that the program/course is fabulous but you can't control who is in your class, making is completely USELESS if you are not with other people that you could classify as your peers,ummm I am not a SNOB but really I was not into trying to help people without at least getting paid. All class I was wondering if I should just leave at break, darn I have my kids in childminding, oh no I have my kids in childminding with these moms kids, oh no I can't be that obvious, oh CRAP! I stayed.

Luckily I called my girlfriend on the way home who works with children and recommended this program and she helped reconfirm my observation, best to wait until a class is closer to home and well where my man and me would meet other parents, still together, that were, oh how do I put this nicely, reasonably SANE.

Well we are coming up to the last class. Graduation so to speak but the hubby will have to skip as one can't be in two places at once. Maybe we will get a certificate.

***I also skipped last class too, why suffer alone, not as fun then***

Regardless, the class did NOT help me get my child to sleep in his bed consistently, or not be scared of monsters, or stop being grumpy in the morning cause he really didn't sleep well, or help me deal with the ULTIMATE meltdowns that leave my child wanting something, getting it and not wanting it, then throwing it, hitting me, pushing his sister, or trying to pick her up by her head, all while crying uncontrollably and while I sit there thinking in my head "what do I do now?", the best example of COPEing with toddler behaviour happened when my mom grabbed him and held him and told him to calm down and he did, all while staying as cool as a cucumber and just being quietly in control.

What I did learn is that my husband has a lot to contribute to parenting class & loves to talk about the kids, my man also likes to people watch and give others funny behavioural nicknames, that if a conflict occurs we both would opt to skip it, that I love red pepper dip and nacho chips, that I cheat and do homework in class cause I know that I won't do it at home, that I am still a keener and a nerd and that I love to have the best answer in discussions, that I am proud to do it ...it was just slightly painful (like running) when you are doing it!!!!

How the Monkee Came About

2009-08-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

This is from another blog I started, but a lot of you have been asking about the Monkey thing again, so here goes, new and improved...

12 years ago...actually longer than that. I was working as the Head Waitress/Serving Wench at the infamous BlarneyStone in Gastown.

Do you know this bar/club? Most people have some stories, I believe Killarney is still playing there.

Our then new manger, LG, let a company put in a one of those machines stuffed full of ungettable stuffies that you try to win by manoeuvring this metal claw around them, pick them up, and then drop them into the chute...the chute, that a small child/girl/boy can climb up and into the machine by, see below.

OK picture 3 waitresses, bored, waiting for customers, and having a whole float full of stuffy machine fun coins. Most of these machines are rigged so its pretty much impossible to win a stuffy for your loonie, it usually takes enough loonies that you have spent too much, way more than the damn thing is worth!!! Well lets just say that it got to the point, that if we won one, we had school girl hissy fits and proudly displayed our stuffy/later-to-be drinking companion at the serving station. One night I won George. He had suction cups on all fours and I think at the time displaying a stuffed animal on your inside car window was cool/trendy/tacky.

Of course living downtown I think I had already crashed my, bought new, '92 Turbo Tercel and personally I was TOO COOL to be displaying a stuffy in it. After winning him that night, George led a reasonably quiet life, that was until I met my now man Christopher W.

Chris has a BRILLIANT sense of humour. I mean ya gotta to handle this lady's laugh. It has been likened to that of a machine gun. He basically started animating George and well at that point I was constantly using 'Cheeky Monkey' in order to mock my British Best Friends English sayings. We had been going out for some time, when I believe I got angry with Chris and I just shouted MONKEY, in an angry scolding tone and that was it.

We lovingly and angrily used MONKEY, as well, pet names for each other. Yes I know, gag, its time to THROW UP. Hey at least its not like my man's brothers nicknames for their significant others,Chumpys and Pacos. Exactly what is a Chumpy, for that matter what is a Paco?! I do believe we won out in the nickname category. The only unfortunate occurrence, is that for the last 12 years we have been receiving stuffed monkeys out our ying-yang.

STOP people! I have this large antique cradle that basically holds the majority of them but I have MORE. I have even donated them, but alas stuffys are not desirable items at the good thrift stores.

They definitely DO NOT want them for toy drives, unless that is they are brand spanking new.

***Nickname Derivatives of Monkey: MonkeeMama; MPT= Monkee Pants Tanaka; MonkeePaPa; MPJ = Monkee Pants Jesson; MarioMonkey-when I drive too fast; the rest to be updated at a later time....basically an ongoing process.

Single Parenting

2009-08-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

That's correct, for a couple of weeks I am the single parent. I mean it's not so different from days when the man works late. He is up so early, he will rarely see the kids and then home late that they are already asleep.

But really it's Dad, it's not Mom.

Working, parenting, meals, and chores...Oh MY!
(to the tune of Lions, and tigers, and bears)

GAH!

I had to take out the GARBAGE! In my home I will refuse to do certain tasks, as then I will probably get stuck with them! I absolutely REFUSE to take out the garbage, ABSOLUTELY! Then I had to and although it wasn't that bad, I HATED IT! Another thing to do!

Gosh single parenting sure brings out the exclamation marks!!!!!!!

I must confess, I let the kids get away with things when I am the solo parent.

Last night, I was so exhausted, I let the kids battle for the bed. THE BED, Mom & Dad's bed, when I usually am reeming out the man for letting our oldest cuddle and then do the scoop and transfer (of Jackson to his own bed).

Last night I did it with them both!

Unfortunately I was busted as I sent a pic from THE iPhone to the man in a text message, such an AWESOME feature, and he noted that it was Daddy's side they were on.

Oh I guess they are on your side, I said sheepishly. BUSTARAMA!

Then some things go even smoother, like I don't find stinky Man socks loitering around the house, I don't have a mound of laundry, the kids are bathed and ready for bed (at a descent time), Dad is not winding them up by wrestling with them, I have the bed ALL to myself, well sortof!

But then some things suck, like the kids don't get to wrestle with Daddy, the kids keep asking where Daddy is, the kids keep telling me Dad's at work, the kids try to wrestle with me, I have to do the garbage, I can't run my long run Sunday morning, I don't get Sunday breakfast made for me, and I make too much dinner.

Mostly, I feel even more exhausted and cranky!! <---notice more exclamation marks!!!

I do not know how real single parents do it! I BOW DOWN to you SG'S!

No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed!

2009-08-18T17:39:00.000-07:00

We were having our nightly Jesson Dance Fest 3000, I don't know which is funnier, Easty's BeBoy arm moves, Jackson's Batman grooves, our 16 year old TV & equally old bedroom set, or when my man asks me...

Man: Is that her there?? What's her name? In the middle?

Me: Meryl Streep?!

REALLY, he still thinks Rosie O'Donnell is in Goodfellas!

And now let the Dancing Begin!

Read the instructions.

2009-08-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

My washing machine came. You think I would be esctatic, but no, it seems like the word "smoothly" isn't in my list of verbs to describe my life lately.

First off, it's almost 2 weeks late, from the 4th to the 18th. They came today, Tuesday, the day I am supposed to be picking up my Mom from the airport. Luckily her flight got delayed until tonight. Even though they, the delivery people, promised they wouldn't come till after 11:30am, they came at 11:40am, I guess that's after 11:30.

First off the guys would not take the old one unless it was disconnected, didn't read that in the delivery instructions, so I got in there and did it myself, muttering if a guy can do so can I.

I did it, but in the process ripped a whole the size of Texas in my Lulu Clam Diggers, 100 bucks there. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

It only looks small,compared the size of the thunder thigh.

Then the guys informed me that they have no work order to take our old one away, but I distinctly remember asking them to add the 20 bucks to save us the hassle, it wasn't anywhere on the bill. I tried to explain, and proceeded to give them the literal Sob Story, that my man can't get rid of it or install the new one because he's away on business for two weeks, and I have PILES of laundry rotting with pee-soaked jammies, and I haven't had coffee yet, and, and, and....

And then I F-Ugly cried and sputtered out "You have to TAKE IT AWAY & install the new one!" trying to hold back the F-ugly cry, but only making it worse, you know once you open the waterworks it just won't stop.

I am so PMS-ing.

They took it, even though the one guy started complaining openly in front of my f-ugly cry talk. The nice guy, just said to call Home Depot and they will add it to the bill. I said thanks but I don't know if they heard me, as they were sprinting for the door, screaming thoughts of, lets get out of this INSANE WOMAN's house QUICKLY!

I am so PMS-ing.

Delivery charge, $50 bucks.

Lululemon Clam Diggers, $72 bucks, unless I want them in Bubblegum/Bon Bon pink $42. Tax not included.

Washing machine removal charge, $20 bucks.

One FUglyCry in front of strangers...PRICELESS!

Is Sunday POOP day?!.

2009-08-16T11:34:00.000-07:00

***WARNING: If you don't like Poop, STOP reading!***

Yes, I said POOP! Although there are different & more rude ways to say it, we shall use poop. Proper hospital standards use Bowel Movement or B-M, really, it's just waaayyy too long and sounds waaaayyy more offensive. Don't ya think?

Where was I?

Well I am starting to train for the Seattle Half Marathon in November. The first long run was supposed to be around 10-12km, but I ended up with 13.3km, I am sure they will not let me map the route again after that extra 1.3km mistake.

Around 10km and still 3.3km away from my vehicle, I was looking for a taxi. Not because I was done, but more like the gurgling in my tummy was beckoning me for a bathroom. I was also not the only one!

The biggest training for a half is NOT the distance (well maybe a little), its being able to poop before you go and do the 20+km's. Seriously, coordinating it can be a challenge, especially when you attended a kid's birthday celebration the night before, with free alcohol and other good stuff being provided.

**Where I found that there is an app for you iPhone called POOP THE WORLD, where you describe your poop with 400 poop types & fragrance combinations, poop trophys, pop stats, even poop places are discussed***

Even salad & healthy food can kill your training buddies as well, SALAD is some hard stuff to digest, we are talking Easty's machine gun toots here, oh I guess that's were she gets it from!

Today was going to be a sortof, don't toot, cause it may not be solid, as the gurgling was feeling it might be a little explosive. Let's just say I am paying for the sprinting back to home today, it's amazing the motivation you can have when you don't want to POOP your pants. Well I, we, made it! YEAH!

And then I came home from my run and found this in the toy room.

Watch out McQueen, POOP DEAD AHEAD!

No we are not training a puppy, it's not a kid accident, it's from a cat, Toonces.

Do you remember this skit from SNL, Toonces the driving cat?

If you do your OLD like me!

Unfortuntely, the cat is on it's last legs and well I just can't do it, you know, IT!

The kids, I, just had to deal with my Dad's death and now this?! Toonces is a 17 year old Bengal and I inherited her from my brother, formerly named Tigger. I know some of you who are dog people say, get rid of her, but seriously, even dog people like her. You can talk to her and she talks back, seriously! My brother tried to breed her but the yappyness of her in heat was more than he could stand, no kitties for Toooncy.

I once tried to record my voicemail, but she kept yapping so I added her in, I proceeded to get wrong number call backs, because this one guy thought it was the funniest thing he heard, wanted my number so he could let his friends listen to it!

I said NO, Weirdo, get your own yappy cat!

This is not the reason, there are other health issues that Toonces is experiencing, but this pooping everywhere and the peeing, I could make a cat pee scratch & sniff sticker now, is one of the symptoms that reduces her roaming areas to the front porch and laundry room. What kind of quality of life is that?!?!

Then there is this...

I guess I will have to live with my man's obsessive/compulsive carpet steam cleaning just a little while longer.

iPhone vs. Blackberry

2009-08-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

Yes that is the screen upright! You have to close it, then reopen it, then HOPE it returns to normal.

Lesson learned.

Never ever buy a Sony Ericsson, actually I don't think anybody ever REALLY chooses to buy them, as most of them come free with plans.

Here's your free phone folks! Taa Daa! With the crappy camera that you have to upload to a website to access them, leaving me with pics on my phone that I just don't know how to get at! UGH! GAH! insert all those other silly phrases here!

Which leads me into the next question, the CONUNDRUM of 2009, do I get an iPhone or a Blackberry. I have watched many a video comparing the two, most people I know that have Blackberries, <-is this how you pluralize it?, have them FREE from work. Others with iPhones, just have em for their personal use. Yes, you have all heard of the app that lets you hold your phone up to music and it will tell you what the song is, but what if it is some obscure artist not available on iTunes???? Do I need to dispell the usefulness of this app for MYSELF??!!? Muahahahahaha!

REALLY I don't need either, I could get by with the FREE phone, as I don't necessarily HAVE to have my emails pronto, or I mean my Facebook status updates & twitter updates pronto! Hehehe!

OK I just want to google running injuries to self diagnose, read some blogs, and Facebook & Twitter my life away! I never really figured out how to do it on Java with my old phone and I really just couldn't be BOTHERED, honestly I know how to get in, get what I want, and then get out. Wait, maybe that's grocery shopping!?

Why I don't get the newspaper....

2009-08-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

My Mom just recently went to Edmonton to go camping with my brother and his family, luckily she left us with the daily newspaper.

Introducing the latest Vancouver Province, to all my non-Vancouverites friends...

I snickered like a pre-pubescent boy! "Karen Johnson wants her johnson gone-"
Wow, RIVETING! The journalists must really be bored now that the gang shootings have subsided. This is equivalent to the grocery-line-up-tabloid magazines. Although, there was a blurb about the Kings of Leon playing this weekend at GM on the front cover as well...

I am going to recommend the Sun to my Mom, but I might be shot down, I know she has always commented on the ease of reading the Province over the Sun and we all now how important that is!

Easty can "Shut The Front Door!"

2009-08-13T07:35:00.000-07:00

OK I am admitting a new reality show, SYTYCD Canada. There was nothing on when I was doing laundry, well except the SYTYCDC, so I decided to watch it to see what all the hype was about, it seems that its always on, but that may be the american version? I mean my girlfriend just recently confessed that its the one show her husband and her can watch together, really?! OK let's see this magic!

Then well Easty got into it...

See how she works that blanket, and I must confess that the song and dance routine is completely AGE APPROPRIATE! I don't know if it was the 61" or the need to groove to the music, but E was really feeling it!

I learned a new saying from the former-male-cheerleader-now-finalist:

"Shut The Front Door!" I guess its supposed to be "Shut The F@#$ Up!
But seriously, E can shut the front door now!

I likey!

Just in case you were wondering, umm that's my Mom's TV because my washer wasn't delivered Monday, even though it was wrapped up and ready to go at the warehouse, it just didn't leave the warehouse, hence delaying delivery to this Saturday, well hopefully! Home Depot, delivery, not so quick!

Expected Life Span = 5 years

2009-08-04T15:47:00.000-07:00

5 YEARS?!?! That's ALL I am going to get outta my $3500. LG washer & dryer we bought in 2003!!!! Hence the only extended warranty you can get is 5 years. Mine lasted 5 years and 2 months, so much for the up-sell on the warranty, to HELL with it next time! I BELIEVED my Mom when she told me to upgrade, so that your appliances will last you longer, Mom had a washer that lasted over 25 years. Mind you, she did get it fixed a few times, but just TRY to find someone nowadays that DOES FIX major appliances. My brother had his washer fixed, $500. bucks later, he wished he just bought a new one because it only lasted maybe one more year. Three different salesman INFORMED me that people just BUY new ones now, it's not worth it to fix them, and "LOOK AT ALL THE SHINY NEW FEATURES ON THIS ONE!!!!!!!"

OhMiGod! Have I really become that, ahem, DOMESTICATED that I am actually put off by the less than amazing life span of a washer & dryer...Hmmm GUESS SO!

But honestly this is the contraption that I have been dealing with...

Yes that is a screw driver bit, it's used to keep the door locked so the spin cycle can work. Also we had to use a bladeless hockey stick to prop up the top so I could fiddle with the damn screw thingy, which I would lose at least once a load! My Man and me had MANY an argument as, for some reason, it just wouldn't spin for me?!!???! What is my problem?!?!? WIRES, SCREW BITS, WATER....I am LUCKY I didn't get electrocuted! Lesson learned: research washers even if you are buying them 2ND-hand. This was a Maytag Neptune that had a WHOLE bunch of stuff recalled on it...hence the $100. buck goodness that lasted 6 months. One word honey: GOOGLE!

So I wonder how long this one is going to last.....

ANY TAKERS on what is going to go next? Sorry to those folks who are betting Hot Water Tank, it's already been replaced earlier this year!

P.S. We only spent $1400. on this laundry pair, the salesman STILL couldn't sell me on STEAM!

CaBOON Birthdays photo montage

2009-08-02T12:10:00.000-07:00

I guess it wasn't that bad! Notice the SMILE!

The Batman Jammies with Cape

2009-08-02T11:37:00.000-07:00

The BEST $13. I ever spent!

Who knew that it would be found at a store called Bargain One in the small town of Grand Forks!

CaBOON Birthdays

2009-08-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

Jackson was born in late July... and that is when we are usually at the cabin in Christina Lake, BC. Unfortunately there is no quaint baker there, making cakes for special occasions. Jackson doesn't care, he just wants the CAAAAKKKKEEE!

As a mom I feel the need to try a little harder, so I drove the 20 minutes (watching for deer) to Grand Forks and decided to hit ALL the grocery stores, BUY LOW, OVERWAITEA, EXTRA FOODS...none at Buy Low, Extra Foods would take an already pre-made cake and write his name on it, but Overwaitea actually had cake designs. There was even BATMAN! I was so excited but it was 9am and I wanted it today. I asked the bakery girl and she took one look at Jackson (who wouldn't let me leave the cabin without him/also wanted to make sure he liked whatever I got) and told me they "had to for such a cute guy's 4th birthday!". YES! I just had to come back at 1pm in 38 degree heat. OK! Done! Drive back to the the lake, 30 minutes this time because of deer not deciding whether or not to cross Hwy 3.

12:30pm on the most stinking hot day yet at the cabin, and I grab my wallet and Jackson and head out. I was early (no deer) and decided to stop at the local Bargain One store, SCORED Black Batman Jammies with a cape as a gift, now onto the cake.

As soon as I see the girl, she says, "Oh I was trying to call you....ah it didn't quite work out" "I won't charge you for the design and just charge you for a plain cake". I am thinking how bad is it?

Well you decide.

VonJesson Daycare Exchange

2009-08-01T15:02:00.000-07:00

DAYCARE. The word sends shivers down working moms spines. Until you start looking for it, its just unimaginable what we moms in need of daycare have to go through. One of my friends is a stay-at-home mom, and she has said she just can't relate because it is such a non-issue with her. I know that her eyes glaze over when others start talking about it and I know that she has almost half fallen asleep whilst I was complaining about it on the phone to her. I understand though, until you go through it, you just can't relate.

Two daycare experiences later, one good, one not so good, and one friend stuck in a bind...and the VonJesson Daycare Exchange was formed. To be honest I was tentative, not because the Vondys aren't great kids, they are the best, but really, could I handle 5 children and still maintain my sanity? I didn't want to be one of those non-licenced places that put their own children ahead of the ones they are watching.

What if it didn't work out? This was my running/race partner! We workout all the time at the gym together! Who would I give weird looks to as the Cyclefit instructor made weird HOOTING owl sounds at us! Most of all... I could lose a good friend. Luckily we discussed everything, and then we discussed it more, and then I also realized that the Vondy side was also concerned if this went bad, it could go really BAD! We joked that we would both be depressed and gain a gazillion pounds!

But it DIDN'T and it turned out to be even BETTER for our friendship! PHEW! The benefits are endless for the kids and for us!

Too many people have approached me astounded or shocked that we are doing this then they sneakily tell me they wish they could do it, and do you have any recommendations!?!?

Here are a few...

Well to start off, make sure your children all get along. Kids, adults, animals all have personalities and sometimes they may clash. Make sure that you are not forcing the situation on a child, just because YOU want it to work it may not help you in the long run. Anything forced is never a good idea. I knew the Vondys for almost 2 years, so there was no hiding or faking when it came to how they are, I already knew they got along.

Next notice how the other parent ...well, parents. Is it your style, how would you handle the situation. If you don't respect what they do with their children, why would you let them handle your children's predicaments?!?! Also, if they DON'T deal with a situation, that can also create other issues later.

Now both of us have taken them to classes, to the grocery store, to Costco, to the toy store. They are all great together and its just like a big family. I laugh when people are amazed and stunned! My favourite is when I go to the grocery store, and because J & E are blond, and the Vondys are blond, they all look related. I always get mistaken for the Nanny (not because of the laugh), more because of the long black hair. How in the world could I have blond, blue-eyed kids?!?!

Another great bonus is that they really bring out the best in each other. Let's face it, its more fun in a group to do crafts, music, and games. The boys really love to play superheros and have almost become inseparable, the girls are all girly and now Easty is SO into dressing up in dresses. They gravitate towards each other and it is so noticeable when we go out to other playdates and parks.

Hey, don't get me wrong, some days are not perfect, it can get loud, and they sometimes get a little nutty and goofy, but really it's never been a nightmare. The worst is when I was having trouble with Jackson not being able to get up, and he wouldn't eat and the proceed to have hissy fit in creative moves/dance class, but that was Jackson with me, not the Vondys! The worst thing that has happened is that they all want to sit beside each other and there isn't enough room on the couch!

I highly recommend doing a daycare exchange. Being at work and knowing that you can totally trust the person taking care of your kids, is so calming. I am myself and can express my feelings about every situation, and its nice to know that I really DON'T have to do that ALL THE TIME, and that someone is loving and caring for my children like I would. As I love and care for the Vondys like they are my own.

COMMUNICATION is the key to every relationship. Talk about everything, it works in marriage, friendships, work, all relationships. We are never afraid to talk about anything, and we don't get defensive or easily offended. It will never work if you don't discuss things, or expect the other person to read your body language or mind! Really is just logical to communicate it!

The tough part will be when Jackson goes to Kindergarten and the VonJesson Daycare Exchange will have to end, as they are in different school en catchments.

I guess we will just have to enjoy the moments we have now!

Wakeboarding and Kids

2009-07-13T00:53:00.000-07:00

I think I am in HEAVEN! I have to brag about this new boat that The Man bought with his brother, its not really even that new, as he got it last summer & it was old then, but really we haven't had a chance to enjoy it until THIS summer at the cabin. What can I say but it is AWESOME! OK I will say it...it ROCKS!

Sleep: The hum of the engine encourages children to sleep when the boat is running.. AHHH YES the best feature that should be marketed in the brochure!

Perfect Pass/Marriage saver: boat driving for dummies/ME, with children who feel the need to sit on your lap whilst driving someone/Hubby wakeboarding...also known to reduce Jesson Headshaking at the disgust of the driver's talents

Bimini: NOT the pub in Kits, a sun shade that rocks for sleeping chiltlins & pasty people looking for some shade

Hot shower: Because we do not have running water at the CaBOON!

Swim grid: For all those children who say they don't have to go pee when asked, then DO have to go when you are in the middle of the lake

Removable table: Cup holders for drinks & kid snacks because my children are happy only when constantly eating

23ft. of ROOM: Because we 4 kids, 4 adults, assortment of bags & wakeboard gear, FINALLY NOBODY (Jackson) is tripping over ANYTHING!

"No, I want MOMMY to do it!"

2009-07-05T13:04:00.000-07:00

Currently my hubby/ my man / Chris, are having the "NO! I want Mommy to do it!" dilemma. Whenever I am around, I have to do everything for them. "No I want Mommy to buckle me!" "No I want Mommy to get my milk!". I don't think it helps that Daddy aggravates the situation by piping in "I can DO IT FOR YOU!" "Here let DADDY do it!" with an over exuberant tone and very comical hand & arm movements! Really, he is just masking his hurt feelings.

My daughter just turned two and was once a Daddy's girl, only because she knew he was the Softy and I am the Hard ass! --Hey, not because I wanna be but because I HAFTA be, no one else wants the job-- but all-of-a-sudden she is copying her older brother and demanding ME!

OK I give IN! I give in when I want to get in and out of the grocery store with SOME groceries. I give in when we are already running late for a class or for me to get to work on time. I give in mostly in public because I can feel the eyes of judgment or at least the eyes of "that poor poor woman". Now it's TWO little moncles (Monk-ELS) that want me and well that is just really inconvenient, and I almost, almost think the man likes it that way. Sometimes I see the glimmer of some old school caveman unconscious, that almost smirks "I tried" and they don't want me! Ha Ha!

So we were late, again. Late for my Dad's memorial that I was to MC. Where in Japanese tradition everyone is, well an hour early, where my Mom & Brother's family is 45 minutes early, and I am only 15 minutes early. Anyways, when asked where was I, it was hard to explain that the kids ONLY wanted me to help them put on their shoes, find their jackets, and zip them up. ONLY Mom could walk them/carry them to the truck. ONLY Mom could buckle them, ONLY Mom could unbuckle them. ONLY Mom's left hand was suitable to hold for both Monkeys, thank GOD for 5 fingers for one, and a thumb for the other. I mistakenly wore shoes that I hadn't worn since my BIL's 2001 wedding, that had a wobbly/half-broken heel from dancing in them when I was way too saucy & child free, so making it so much easier & FUN FUN FUN to hold scared, non-napped children.

Luckily the Vondy's showed up and the kids relaxed...almost too much! The blond funeral hostess, "was concerned" about them cracking their heads on the glass table. 7 kids 5 and under have a pack mentality (when juiced up on lemonade), and they also need to RUN, and since it was raining the running occurred in the funeral home, hey at least we were the only service. I LOVED the blond hostess, let's scowl at my 3 yr old niece who was collecting the centre pieces and putting them on a table, everyone was gone at this point. I guess she is just better with DEAD people then with LIVE ones!

In the end everything works out, like it was meant to.

But of course, MOMMY had to BUCKLE up and then UNBUCKLE but really, I will miss it when they don't want me anymore.