Yes, I said POOP! Although there are different & more rude ways to say it, we shall use poop. Proper hospital standards use Bowel Movement or B-M, really, it's just waaayyy too long and sounds waaaayyy more offensive. Don't ya think?
Where was I?
Well I am starting to train for the Seattle Half Marathon in November. The first long run was supposed to be around 10-12km, but I ended up with 13.3km, I am sure they will not let me map the route again after that extra 1.3km mistake.
Around 10km and still 3.3km away from my vehicle, I was looking for a taxi. Not because I was done, but more like the gurgling in my tummy was beckoning me for a bathroom. I was also not the only one!
The biggest training for a half is NOT the distance (well maybe a little), its being able to poop before you go and do the 20+km's. Seriously, coordinating it can be a challenge, especially when you attended a kid's birthday celebration the night before, with free alcohol and other good stuff being provided.
**Where I found that there is an app for you iPhone called POOP THE WORLD, where you describe your poop with 400 poop types & fragrance combinations, poop trophys, pop stats, even poop places are discussed***
Even salad & healthy food can kill your training buddies as well, SALAD is some hard stuff to digest, we are talking Easty's machine gun toots here, oh I guess that's were she gets it from!
Today was going to be a sortof, don't toot, cause it may not be solid, as the gurgling was feeling it might be a little explosive. Let's just say I am paying for the sprinting back to home today, it's amazing the motivation you can have when you don't want to POOP your pants. Well I, we, made it! YEAH!
And then I came home from my run and found this in the toy room.
Watch out McQueen, POOP DEAD AHEAD!
No we are not training a puppy, it's not a kid accident, it's from a cat, Toonces.
Do you remember this skit from SNL, Toonces the driving cat?
If you do your OLD like me!
Unfortuntely, the cat is on it's last legs and well I just can't do it, you know, IT!
The kids, I, just had to deal with my Dad's death and now this?! Toonces is a 17 year old Bengal and I inherited her from my brother, formerly named Tigger. I know some of you who are dog people say, get rid of her, but seriously, even dog people like her. You can talk to her and she talks back, seriously! My brother tried to breed her but the yappyness of her in heat was more than he could stand, no kitties for Toooncy.
I once tried to record my voicemail, but she kept yapping so I added her in, I proceeded to get wrong number call backs, because this one guy thought it was the funniest thing he heard, wanted my number so he could let his friends listen to it!
I said NO, Weirdo, get your own yappy cat!
This is not the reason, there are other health issues that Toonces is experiencing, but this pooping everywhere and the peeing, I could make a cat pee scratch & sniff sticker now, is one of the symptoms that reduces her roaming areas to the front porch and laundry room. What kind of quality of life is that?!?!
Then there is this...
I guess I will have to live with my man's obsessive/compulsive carpet steam cleaning just a little while longer.
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